The Telegram (St. John's)

I take pride in being a ‘bad granny’

- JANICE WELLS jwellsoeo@hotmail.com @Stjohnstel­egram Janice Wells offers her own unique take on life as a baby boomer, often served up with a twist of humour and a splash of gin. She lives in St. John’s, NL and can be reached at janicew@ nf.sympatico.ca.

It’s the end of July and a summer highlight is done; another Grannies’ Week has come to an end.

For those of you who don’t know, Grannies’ Week has been a tradition in my family for a few years now.

We three sisters get together at my place in Heart’s Content with our grandchild­ren. We started this four years ago, so this should have been our fifth year of the cousins making wonderful memories with each other and us, but thanks to COVID, it’s only our third. The Ontario contingent missed two summers.

The first year, we had five of them between the ages of four and nine, and there was a newborn left behind. This year, the week started with five little angels (hahahahaha) between the ages of seven and 13 and ended with four between the ages of four and 13, with a two-year-old left behind.

I know we had a four-yearold for the whole week the first year, but granny years are not like kids’ years, and we have to be flexible as we’re not as flexible as we used to be, if you know what I mean.

I’m reminded again of a book I read about ‘good’ grannies and ‘bad’ grannies, and I believe that many of the things that supposedly make bad grannies are the very things that make grannies good for grandchild­ren to spend time with.

The best thing about being a grandmothe­r is that you don’t have to be so serious about bringing them up right. You did all that with their parents when they were children. Now it’s their responsibi­lity to bring them up to be good people and yours to have fun with them. It’s marvellous­ly freeing.

Parents try to be vigilant about baths; bad (good) grannies count swimming, paddling, falling in the brook and running through the sprinkler as sufficient for cleanlines­s.

And while we’re on the subject of dirt, good grannies might have floors you can eat off but would never let the children eat anything off the floor; bad (good) grannies don’t often have floors like that (especially during Grannies’ Week), believe in the five-second rule and that dirt is good for children.

And while we’re on the subject of food, good grannies serve nourishing, wellbalanc­ed meals; bad (good) grannies have lots of frozen pizzas, chicken strips and French fries on hand and give up on the vegetables after the second night.

Last week, one good granny was so determined to have her oldest grandson expand his diet that she offered him $20 to eat a bite of lobster. The other two grannies were horrified at the possibilit­y of having yet another mouth to share lobster with, but thankfully, he pocketed the $20 and decided one bite was enough.

Some might think a good granny doesn’t drink alcohol in front of the children. We have one of those, but she doesn’t drink period, so it’s not like she’s sacrificin­g, which is just as well because that would not impress the other two, who never miss a happy hour but make sure to tell the children that drinking is not good for you.

Good grannies do not let the children have too much device time or watch too much TV and always know what they’re watching, but bad (good) grannies might encourage them to find something to watch on some device while they sip wine and watch the Blue Jays game in the next room. Just sayin’.

To be fair to us, the first two years were device free (not TV free; we’re not that good), but this year, we were glad that the older two had devices because they did get a bit bored on occasion.

I was reminded of friends who had cottages over the years and sold them because the kids got older and didn’t want to go anymore.

We might lose the oldest one next year, but we’ll have picked up another one, so all else being equal, the beat will go on.

 ?? JANICE WELLS ?? Bad grannies have roles of nickels on hand for gambling with the older ones.
JANICE WELLS Bad grannies have roles of nickels on hand for gambling with the older ones.
 ?? ??

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