The future of funerals

The way we do funerals is changing. This is happening due to the cultural, social, religious and technological changes which are affecting every area of our lives.

Here is a listing of some of the influences making a difference in the way we conduct these last rites:

Cremation is widespread. This makes a difference to the timing of a funeral and what happens afterwards with the ashes. More and more funerals are non-religious, which means they have no connection with a religion, and, therefore, use their own religious ritual or a secular one, and use someone other than a clergy to lead the service. In part, this reflects a society where many no longer believe in the afterlife.

COVID also introduced or increased practices which have become commonplace.

There seems to be more people pre-arranging their funerals, which makes them more ‘personalized’.

Also during the pandemic , online broadcasting of service became common and it is now expected. The visitation/wake and funeral used to occupy three days. Now it is often just one day.

Funeral homes now offer more services and additions, which are making funerals more expensive, forcing people to look for less costly arrangements. It seems that funeral homes are playing a larger role and taking over the roles once assigned to religions.

Overall, there has been a loss of common practices and rituals associated with funerals.

Obituaries can reveal a lot about the state of funerals. Here are some extracts:

‘A celebration of life’ will take place later. Funerals need not happen now at the time of death. This both delays the expression of grief and the support of the community.

‘Visitation 10-2 followed by a funeral’. We are victims of convenience and busyness, reflecting our fast food and take-out services, and this is seen in death as well.

‘To send a message of condolence . . .’ This means less people will come to support a family. ‘A private funeral will be held.’

‘Funeral service will be held in the chapel (of the funeral home).’ These chapels are replacing religious places of worship for funerals. ‘Inurnment to follow later.’

Two recent reports in the UK looked at bereavement and the support people received. “Bereavement is Everybody’s Business” highlighted the lack of access to practical and emotional support for people in their bereavement. It recommended that government establish an agency that would be available for those looking for support during bereavement for dealing with the loss itself long-term and also the paper work required after someone dies. The report also recommended: access to a simple funeral for everyone; a straightforward process after death; support before and after death.

The think-tank Theos published “From Ashes to Ashes,” which had researched what people believe and want when it comes to death. It was focused on public attitudes towards death, dying and the afterlife, and the effect of COVID-19 on this issue.

One finding was that people don’t talk much about death and dying. A sociologist, Jack Fong, claims that the market, the media and medicine has created a society which is uneasy about death and don’t talk about it.

As hospitals replace the home as the place of dying, we don’t have the same faceto-face contact with death, making it less real. We can’t even use the word ‘death’, substituting ‘passing’, which seems to soften the reality. Perhaps a dose of Dante’s “Divine Comedy” might open our eyes. There is a fine replay in a recent book, “Dante’s Divine Comedy” by Mark Vernon.

Whatever forms funerals take in the future , there are two questions we will always need to face: What do we believe about life beyond death? How do we deal with bereavement?