‘It’s heartbreaking what people have to go through’
Woman says her experience with mental-health system has been worsening
First in a series
Sarah Saint-claire has been dealing with the mental health care system in the province for the past 10 years.
She’s lived in St. John’s, as well as on the province’s west coast, but Saint-claire says the mental-health system has consistently let her and many others down countless times.
Her first encounter was when she was 13 years old.
“I was experiencing symptoms of anxiety and, more specifically, a panic disorder. My mom and I went to my regular family physician and she referred us to a counsellor service, and I started seeing a counsellor at that age, which is similar to a therapist,” she said.
“I remember when we went to go get that referral, it did take about two months for someone from the facility to have an opening so that they could get me an appointment to see someone on a regular basis.”
That first experience with the mental-health system was a bad one, she says. Two months is a long time, and things could have changed for her in that time, she added.
EATING DISORDERS
A few years later, Saintclaire, then 16, was at her family physician because of an eating disorder.
“I said to her in confidence, ‘I think that I have an eating disorder.’ And she said, ‘OK. Let me weigh you.’ Which should have been a red flag for me, but I look back on it now and I cringe at it. But in the moment, I didn’t really know how to say no in situations like that,” Saint-claire says.
“I went through with that, and that’s when she told me that my BMI was considered normal. So, I didn’t meet the diagnostic requirements to be diagnosed with anorexia, which is what I had at the time. After that point, I just gave up and moved on.”
LOOKING BACK
She continued to struggle for years after that. Saint-claire has been in recovery since 2019, but says she is still haunted by that experience.
“Looking back on that, I think it’s disgusting that my thoughts and my feelings on the situation and what I was struggling with was completely disregarded because I didn’t meet what they consider to be a diagnostic material,” she says.
“I was showing every single symptom and sign of someone with anorexia, but because my weight wasn’t low enough, they couldn’t actually diagnose me with an eating disorder.”
THE WATERFORD
Her next experience, in 2021, was around Christmastime at the Waterford Hospital in St. John’s.
“I was feeling a lot of thoughts about anxiety and depression and PTSD. I didn’t have time to be on a waitlist for months just to speak to someone about my thoughts because, honestly, I was feeling really scared,” she says.
Saint-claire went to the emergency ward at the Waterford hospital, where she met a nurse.
“What she said, this is something that haunts me. I feel fine with the situation now that it’s been years past, but I just look back on it and I’m like, wow, just wow. But she looked at me and she said to me, ‘Well, this is for people who are actually in crisis. You should go somewhere else.’”
Saint-claire left the Waterford and, having nowhere else to turn, went to a friend’s house.
“I’m lucky that I had that friend there who was able to speak to me. I was very scared in that moment,” says Saintclaire.
THE RNC
After being sexually assaulted, she had to wait eight to nine months to see a professional for help, Saint-claire said.
She says she ended up going to a private professional instead, which was “ridiculously expensive.”
Saint-claire said that after she was sexually assaulted, she had to deal with the RNC on multiple occasions, and the police didn’t take her seriously.
“I was having very dark thoughts and I called the mental-health crisis line and I explained to them the reason I’m feeling all this is because it’s an experience I had with the RNC,” she said.
“Even after hearing that part of the reason I was feeling this is because of an experience with the RNC, they still said the best we can do is send an RNC officer to your house.”
Saint-claire declined the offer.
SUPPORT SYSTEM
She says she’s one of the lucky ones. She has a strong support system. But, she adds, the fact that she got more support from untrained friends and family instead of a professional through the provincial mental health care system is appalling.
She doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if she didn’t have their support.
“I don’t like to think about it. Best-case scenario, I would have been able to get through that. Worst-case scenario, I feel like that’s obvious,” says Saint-claire.
She says mental-health care in the province has gotten worse, especially with the increasing cost of living, and more people are experiencing stress, anxiety and depression.
EXPENSIVE PRIVATE CARE
Meanwhile, she says, getting help still takes months on a waitlist or expensive private care.
“I would be paying about $145 out of pocket for every appointment, and that is ridiculously expensive and completely unaffordable to lower- or middle-class people, especially in this province, and this country,” she says.
She says the situation is disappointing and disrespectful, and there must be change and improvement in mentalhealth care.
RURAL COMMUNITIES SEE LITTLE IMPROVEMENT
She’s hopeful the new mentalhealth facility in St. John’s will be beneficial, but says that does little to improve the situation in rural communities.
“God forbid if you’re in St. Anthony and the nearest hospital is however long away. While I think that awareness is necessary — it’s absolutely necessary — what we need is action to be taken to fix the broken system that we’re living with,” she says.
GOVERNMENT’S RESPONSE
In a statement about available mental-health services, NL Health Services said patient concerns are taken very seriously and there are a wide variety of services available for patients.
Meanwhile, Saint-claire is losing hope.
“It’s heartbreaking what people have to go through to get mental-health care in this province,” she says.
“I like to be optimistic. I like to think of myself as an optimist. But serious change needs to be made. Either way, I hope that things get better here, and I really hope that we see change. But so much needs to change.”