‘These surgeries are life-saving for people like me’
Advocate Gemma Hickey describes experience with gender-affirming care
St. John’s activist Gemma Hickey would like to get to a place where they don’t have to keep telling their story.
But in today’s political climate, they see it as a necessity.
“We’re living in dark times,” Hickey said.
‘DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES’
In February, the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) warned 2SLGBTQIA+ communities that violence toward members of their community is likely to increase over the next year.
This comes as provinces such as Alberta, New Brunswick, and Saskatchewan change policies around the use of preferred pronouns and name rules for queer and trans youth in schools.
In the fall, Alberta will introduce legislation to ban gender-affirming surgeries, puberty blockers, and hormone treatments for youth under the age of 16.
Hickey said these announcements, in combination with federal Conservative Leader Pierre Polivere’s endorsement, have left them feeling raw.
“The dire circumstances plaguing my community consume me daily, the unrelenting violence, the erosion of our rights in provinces like New Brunswick, Saskatchewan, and Alberta,” they said.
READY TO FIGHT
Hickey is ready to fight.
In their latest form of activism, they are opening up about their experiences with gender affirmation care.
“I fear for the future, but I’m going to do whatever I can in my power to ensure that young people feel affirmed and understood,” Hickey said.
“If that means I have to continue to be publicly vulnerable, if that means I have to continue to put myself at risk, if that means I have to continue to disclose private details about my life in the hopes that it helps other people, I am going to do that because that’s what the times demand.”
STARTING TO TRANSITION
Hickey’s gender-affirmation care started in 2015 after they walked across Newfoundland to raise awareness and improve services for those who have experienced abuse within religious institutions.
Hickey, a survivor of sexual abuse, said their walk across the island was filled with reflection and self-discovery.
“It’s like I walked from one side of the island to the other side myself,” they said.
It was on that walk that Hickey decided they would start transitioning, pursue hormone therapy, and keep their name.
TESTOSTERONE
Hickey started testosterone shortly after returning home.
“I really liked the experiences I had on testosterone. I was starting to change physically,” Hickey said.
“I noticed my physicality changing. There was a difference with some of the fat distribution around my body, that kind of thing. So I started to feel a little more affirmed within myself and leaning towards presenting my gender as masculine.”
SURGERY
About a year later, Hickey underwent top surgery in Mississauga, Ont., at the former Mclean Clinic, now called Grace Med.
At age 38, Hickey pursued their surgery privately because the waitlist in Newfoundland and Labrador meant the wait for the procedure would take about five years.
Their first gender-affirmation surgery took place in January 2017.
“I didn’t want to wait any longer as a result of my age,” they said.
“I had top surgery and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I felt really good going into the surgery. I felt like it was the right decision for me, and the surgery was a success.”
Their next step was to undergo a hysterectomy.
SECOND SURGERY
Hickey said they fought for a hysterectomy as a teenager, but was denied the option.
“I had very brutal periods, very painful periods, and at that time you had to be 40 years old. I was told by my family doctor that you can’t get a hysterectomy yet because you may want to have a child,” they said.
Hickey was 40 when they had the surgery — but it took a couple of attempts to get there.
The first hysterectomy attempt was in November 2017. Hickey said there were issues with their intubation.
“I could have died on the table,” they said.
The hysterectomy didn’t take place.
Hickey went back a month later, despite the previous traumatic experience.
They were intubated while they were awake.
“That’s how important these surgeries are to trans people,” they said.
“We’re willing to risk our own lives, not just in terms of going under anesthetic, but also in that living our authentic selves means that we’re exposing ourselves to assaults. We’re exposing ourselves to harassment. We’re exposing ourselves to discrimination. Still, we press on.”
RECENT SURGERY
Hickey said there is no end point to their transition, but they are committed to selfacceptance.
They identify as a male-presenting non-binary person.
After some scheduling conflicts and a 100-pound weight loss, Hickey underwent their latest gender-affirming surgery in March without issue.
The surgery took place at Grace Med in Mississauga. They said trans care isn’t very accessible in Newfoundland.
“It’s difficult to get these surgeries. There’s a lot of barriers there and, in addition to that, you have to leave the province. You have to leave the comforts of your own home, your family, your support, the things that you’re used to that help you on your recovery,” Hickey said.
While they haven’t disclosed the type of surgery they received, Hickey said it was successful, and their recovery is going well.
THE GOAL
Hickey’s goal is to show queer and trans youth that they are not alone and to combat the rising hate facing 2SLGBTQ+ communities.
Hickey said their community’s survival is a political act.
“When we can experience love, joy, happiness, that’s how we win in this fight which seems to be coming at us from all directions at this point in time,” they said.
“The lives of queer and trans youth hang in the balance here. Queer and trans youth have a higher rate of suicide, addiction, and homelessness than their peers, so I made a decision.
“I felt compelled to disclose that I was having another surgery as a political act to draw more awareness that these surgeries are life-saving for people like me.”
ALLIES NEEDED
As the 2SLGBTQIA+ community is targeted, Hickey is advising the public not to believe everything they hear. They are also encouraging allyship.
“Do your research, be curious, and not every trans person or queer person is here to educate you. That’s up to you. We need our allies to step up now more than ever because we’re not safe and we don’t feel safe,” they said.
“We need people to speak out on our behalf and there’s a lot of misinformation that’s been circulated out there and we need people to know that it’s false.
“What’s right for me may not be right for you, and what’s right for you may not be right for me, but there’s room for us all here and that’s how we need to move forward.”
NOT ALONE
Meanwhile, Hickey’s message to queer and trans youth is a reminder of their resiliency.
“You’re not alone. You have the ability to beat the statistics and the odds, and the reason I know that is because I did,” they said.
Hickey noted the losses and tragedies the 2SLGBTQIA+ community has experienced as a result of suicides and hate-motivated violence.
“We honour those that we’ve lost by taking care of ourselves, by getting up every day and doing something for ourselves, whether that’s going to the gym, going for a walk, remembering to take your medication, trying to talk gently with yourself,” Hickey said.
“Survival is how we fight. Loving ourselves is how we win, and that takes work, but that’s our weapon.”