Thankful to still be alive
After 18-hour invasive brain surgery, woman couldn’t believe she survived
On March 18, the day before her 18-hour invasive brain surgery in Halifax, Alanna Mcdonald (Earle) said that after hearing the risks from her surgeon, it left her thinking one thing.
"I left that day and I said, I am going to die," said Mcdonald.
"I walked out of the hospital that day and I've never been so afraid."
Some of the risks included potential stroke, loss of hearing and potential damage to her facial nerve.
'ANYTHING COULD'VE HAPPENED'
"There isn't a high mortality rate with the surgery but there were so many risks that anything could've happened," said Mcdonald.
Mcdonald needed surgery after an MRI revealed a tumour had been growing in her head for two years. She said that during those years not only was she misdiagnosed but she suffered from migraines, tinnitus, and unsteadiness.
Due to the surgery, Mcdonald said, her life has been turned upside down, which isn't easy as a wife, a mother and someone with a full-time job.
Mcdonald said that what baffles her most is that all this could have been avoided if she had gotten her MRI on time.
LIVING IN DENIAL
"If I had been diagnosed sooner, I could have had options for treatment. It wouldn't have been so lifethreatening," she said.
Mcdonald said she avoided thinking about surgery, and her coping mechanism was living in denial.
"It might not have been the best but that's what I did," she said.
"I was like that until the morning I went in for surgery."
On the morning of her surgery, March 19, Mcdonald said, she went into shock. Because of her anxiety, she doesn't remember much, and was on autopilot, she added.
BEFORE SURGERY
"I tried to block it out as much as I could. I didn't sleep much the night before and I had to be at the hospital for 5:30 a.m. because my surgery was at 7:30 a.m.," said Mcdonald.
"What I do remember is being with my husband, Jamie, my sister, Sherry, the pre-op questions, changing into hospital clothes, and being told to say my goodbyes."
Mcdonald was then wheeled to the other side of the surgery ward, to the experience she had been dreading.
That is when her surgeon told her family that there would be no updates during the surgery, and that he couldn't be distracted. He added he would call before they woke her.
HARDEST DAY
Mcdonald said her husband said it was the hardest day of his life.
"He said he almost had a heart attack three times that day. It felt like the longest day he's lived," said Mcdonald.
"He didn't stay at the hospital, but he said nothing distracted him."
Shortly after the hardest day of her husband's life started, Mcdonald was put under.
“The anesthesiologist asked if I had ever been put under before. I said, ‘No,’ and he said, ‘That’s OK,’ and put the mask on me,” said Mcdonald.
‘SCREWED TO THE TABLE’
Once she was asleep, they shaved the left side of her head and screwed her to the table.
“They did it so I wouldn’t move during the surgery. I have a screw mark on my forehead and on my shoulder that I am hoping will go away,” said Mcdonald.
They drilled a hole in the back of her head and extracted the tumour piece by piece. To fill in the hole, surgeons extracted fat from her abdomen.
“It freaked me out because I have a hole in my head but he said it will harden over time,” said Mcdonald.
‘I’M ALIVE’
Mcdonald was in surgery for 18 and a half hours, about two hours longer than expected. Mcdonald added that her surgeon said it was longer than normal but didn’t give an explanation why.
She believes the extra hours included prep time.
When Mcdonald woke up on March 20, she said, it felt as if she had been ripped from another world.
“My first thought was, I’m alive, I’m actually alive.” Facial nerve intact Outside of the ventilator in her mouth, the first thing she noticed was her facial nerve was still intact. It was something she had been very nervous about.
“I would have had this droop to my mouth, it affects your swallowing, your taste, your mouth shape, your eye won’t close if that happens, and I didn’t want that,” said Mcdonald.
“What he told me in our initial meeting is that they don’t go for broke anymore. They don’t try to get every single piece of the tumour, because of the damage.”
What this means is a sliver of Mcdonald’s tumour is still inside her head. Because of this, she will undergo annual MRIS to check for potential regrowth.
REGULAR MRI’S
Her first MRI is scheduled for September.
“I feel for the first few years I’ll be anxious about it,” said Mcdonald.
“Even if they took the whole thing, it still has the potential to grow back. Once I get through the first few, I think I’ll feel comfortable.”
The second thing she noticed was her hearing. Due to the size of the tumour and the way it had to be extracted, Mcdonald lost her hearing in her left ear permanently. She had been aware of this before going in.
ENTERING RECOVERY
After noticing her facial nerve was intact, she said, she started to get excited, but as she did her surgeon told her don’t get too excited because you’re going to get worse before you get better.
Mcdonald says she faces her biggest challenge yet: recovery.
Due to the swelling on her brain, the first 36 hours after her surgery she spent vomiting, and she started experiencing double vision, Mcdonald said.
To manage the double vision, she had to alternate an eye patch between her eyes.
She said she also had to manage discomfort from tubes and bandages on her head.
‘WOULDN’T WISH THIS ON ANYONE’
“The first 36 hours, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I was so weak, I never want to feel like that again,” said Mcdonald.
“But after those 36 hours, I had to get up because I didn’t want any blood clots, so I used my walker for the first time.”
On March 22, Mcdonald managed to get to the bathroom and brush her teeth. On March 23, physio came in and had her walk down a 20-foot hallway.
“I did not want to move that much, but I had to.”
Her physio continued until March 24.
KIDS GOT HER THROUGH
Mcdonald’s recovery was difficult, but to get through it she kept one thing in mind.
“I wanted to get home to my kids,” she said.
On March 24, when her physiotherapist said she was ready to go, she was shocked.
“I didn’t think I was strong enough,” said Mcdonald.
QUICK RECOVERY
“They gave me a day pass so I could go back to our condo that night. I had a test the next morning, due to atrial fibrillation, a side effect that happens after surgery.”
Mcdonald said her first night out of the hospital went well and after returning to the hospital the next day, she was discharged by 5 p.m.
“I went in on a Tuesday and I got out on a Monday.”
After being discharged, Mcdonald continued her recovery, focusing on mobility and rest, and she was to follow up after 10 days.
‘LEAPS AND BOUNDS’
During her wait to follow up with her surgeon, she began to improve, Mcdonald said.
“Once I was back at the condo for a couple of days, I felt like I was making leaps and bounds.”
After meeting with her surgeon, Mcdonald was OK to fly.
After four weeks, Mcdonald made it back to St. John’s on April 8, a day before her 43rd birthday.
BACK AT HOME
Mcdonald is back at home with her children, exactly where she wanted to be, but life looks different, she said.
“By the time I came home, I was mobile, got rid of the walker, and the double vision went away. When I first wake up, I still get headaches, but they’re not the same. I can tell it’s from healing,” said Mcdonald.
“But I can’t lift more than two-litre milk. I can’t lift my children and that’s hard, with a two-year-old, and as a chiropractor.”
Mcdonald added that in May she will begin physio and this will help her to a “new normal” of resuming her daily activities.
‘DETERMINED TO GET BACK’
“I will get back to normal. It won’t be the same normal as before, but I’m determined to get back,” she said.
“I just want to get back to the things that are important to me, such as picking up or playing with my child.”
Mcdonald said she is still upset that she had to go through this, but she doesn’t dwell on it, and the experience has led her to appreciate life more.
“It’s made me slow down a bit and appreciate what I have. I am the type of person who pushes things and works hard, so this just makes me slow down and look at my life.”