How to get around the issue of never having enough boats

Over

the course of an outdoors enthusiast’s life, there will come a time when you will be asked the question each of us fears.

Your significant other will ask: How many boats does one person need? The answer is never easy. As someone who owns a modest collection of boats – one canoe, one tin boat, one duck boat, one inflatable pontoon boat – my answer would be, “More than I have.”

You would think any backwoods lawyer would be able to poke a hole right through this assertion. And, of course, you’d be right.

So, the first step is never to say this in front of your significant other’s legal counsel.

But, if you can make the case only in front of your significant other, the best argument is this.

You say something like, “Yes, I have a duck boat for duck hunting, and a beat-up tin boat for fishing, plus a canoe for paddling, fishing and portaging and an inflatable pontoon boat for small backwoods lakes and quick, impromptu fishing trips. But, you know, I’m ashamed to admit I don’t have a boat worthy of you….”

This is the kind of statement that short-circuits even the most adamant anti-boat-buying argument. First, it gets their mind wondering “What kind of boat is worthy of me?”

For some, the answer is a nice 20-foot ski-boat. For others it is a state-of-theart pontoon boat, complete with stereo, reclining lawn chairs, cooler and barbecue. For others yet, it’s the Queen Mary.

Regardless of expectations, at this point, they will likely ask, “Why?”

To which you would honestly respond, “Well, you are too image-conscious to be seen in my beat-up, old tin boat, you are a lousy paddler and not very helpful on a portage, if I took you out in my duck boat, I’d have to leave too many decoys at home, and there’s no way two of us would fit in my inflatable pontoon boat.”

So, forget about being honest.

Instead say, “I’m hoping to find new ways to move you around in comfort and style and allow us to enjoy time on the water together.”

Very few people could resist such a considerate answer, especially when you say it with a smile on your face and a loving look in your eyes.

Sure, your significant other will put up a bit of resistance and hem and haw for a day or two. But during that time, the words “I’m hoping to find new ways to move you around in comfort and style and allow us to enjoy time on the water together” will begin to resonate and maybe even cause an unexpected smile or two.

Eventually, as winter progresses, the thought of enjoying time on the water together will begin to seem like a good idea.

So sometime, say around January, your significant other might say,“You know what? Maybe we do need to add to our fleet. Go out there and find a new way to move me around in comfort and style and allow us to enjoy time on the water together.”

“Are you sure?” You should ask.

“Yes,” will be the reply. “You have my blessing.”

And that, my friends, is how you get your significant other to agree to adding two new boats to your fleet.