LACK OF PLANNING CAN RESULT IN CHAOS
There was a family upset I witnessed several years ago that could have easily been avoided by timely planning. It was a nasty upset, indeed. Two family members were fighting in the chapel over who would get their parent’s cremated remains. Yep, a public, hurtful and unnecessary upset. It affected everyone who was in attendance at the ceremony, and really hurt the surviving spouse and the children. It left tarnished what was supposed to be a ceremony of loving good-byes.
“Two family members were fighting in the chapel over who would get their parent’s cremated remains.”
Now you might say that this was an extreme example and perhaps it is, yet I have witnessed other family upsets that may not be as public, but were as hurtful at a time when we could be saying our loving good-byes as opposed to fighting.
A family member of ours who did their end of life planning well in advance and who involved the family members in the preparations told us of how graceful and loving their ceremonies for their mom were. They also mentioned that one of the primary reasons for the loving sendoff was that they worked out all their differences during the planning phase. Getting everyone on the same page well in advanced resulted in a chaos free end of life celebration.
Seeing the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to end of life planning, especially lack of planning, I decided to create an All
Ready To Go binder that houses all my end of life paperwork — from my power of attorney to my funeral arrangements. It rests on a bookshelf in my office, and all my family members know where it lives — more importantly, the details it contains. Intending to avoid painful chaos for my loved ones at the end of my life, I chose to have the uncomfortable conversations well in advance — conversations that got us all on the same end of life page.
“Getting everyone on the same page well in advanced resulted in a chaos free end of life celebration.”
The conversation was a little bumpy and we hung in there until we all agreed and understood how I want my end of life and my after death care to be. Now it is done, and believe it or not, we all had a sigh of relief that end has been well planned for all my family and me. Whew.
Choose to have what may seem to be challenging conversations about your end of life wishes well in advance. Join the Memorial Society of BC and record your plans on an arrangement form; send a copy to the staff at the MSBC, and keep a copy for family’s use somewhere in the home.
It is a generous gift to your loved ones indeed. You will be so glad you did!