Mom feeling tensions of staying at home

Dear Ellie: I’m a mom with two kids, 13 and 10, who are at home doing online schooling. My husband and I were both already working from home, before COVID-19.

That was liveable, when he was downstairs and I was upstairs. Even then, we each treasured our time outside alone — running, walking, shopping, grabbing a coffee.

But now, in a small house 24-7, we’re all four tripping over each other.

I know that many will say we’re lucky to be together. I understand that.

But ours is also a common story.

The possibility that the stayhome orders will still be insisted on by our public officials into the summer months and even beyond, makes the present feel overwhelming.

What can we do to stay on course without losing our patience, without being tense and irritable with our kids and without being short-tempered with the partner whose support we need more than ever before?

Feeling Under Siege

Your sign-off is hopeful because being “under siege” means you want to fight back.

That spirit is in you. It’s also strong because so many are in the same battle.

Countless parents at home with children are intent on finding strategies that work.

The kids have their at-home classes, but they also have breaks and time for other routines.

Treat them as what they are — valued, capable members of the family’s survival corps. They can help with meals and many other tasks needed to keep the household running.

Teach them practical skills for contributing to getting through the crisis of this pandemic.

Have fun breaks for all — through videos and online connections. There are endless sources for these that you can find on YouTube or through Google searches:

You can all be adventuresome with something new — dance classes for all ages, family fitness classes, yoga for beginners (age-appropriate).

For nostalgia, search triedand-true TV-comedy re-runs.

Encourage periodic breaks from each other to rest, read, listen to music, de-compress.

Honour everyone’s need to laugh, stretch out, be silly, and to have phone or email contact with others. If there are grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins who are reachable through technology, check in with them.

It helps all of you remember that you’re not an isolated foursome. There are people out there caring and cheering for you, as you are for them.

The warmer and sunnier weather will soon arrive and that will be another test of your strength and will to hold fast to the rules of non-engagement.

I urge you to rouse the natural fighter spirit that’s in you, along with the fierce protection you and your husband feel toward your children, to stay on track, stay home and stay well.

Feedback: Regarding the single woman, 42, who wrote about being lonely/scared, while isolated at home due to the coronavirus (April 9):

Reader: “Her letter hit home for me. I, too, am living alone. We’re both sharing the same life changes. Your advice helped me to stay focused. You reminded me of the necessity to continue self-isolation, not only for my health, but for others. Your words were comforting: ‘You’re not alone.’ ”

Ellie’s tip of the day

Families at home with children must muster their strengths, tolerance, creativity and determination to fight the virus’s spread.

Send relationship questions to ellie@thestar.ca. Follow @ellieadvice.