Urban Diplomat

I recently splurged on floor seats for the Adele concert at the ACC. The show was great, and the crowd was on their feet the whole night, but the couple in front of us let their tween-age daughter stand on one of their seats. With the boost, she was a few inches over six feet—taller than me, even in heels—and completely blocked my view. I said something to the parents, which started a big argument. The whole thing ended up ruining the concert for me. Was I wrong to complain?

—Pop Blocked, North York

I get it: you dropped a couple hundred bucks for premium seats, you thought you’d have a perfect view of the stage— you felt like you could have had it all. Then a primary schooler snatched that away from you. If she were perched on her dad’s shoulders, you would have been right to gripe. But at six feet and change, she was no different than a tall fan—and you wouldn’t ask a hulking, 250-pound Adele-loving bro to crouch for you. Besides, it sounds like what really ruined the show wasn’t the obstruction but the bickering. Next time, shift a few inches over and bottle up those emotions for later. There’s nothing more Adele than that.

Dear Urban Diplomat, My neighbourhood is home to a large population of feral cats. I didn’t mind until last summer, when a young couple moved in next door and started feeding them. Now, the felines have taken over my backyard, which reeks of cat pee, and I worry they could bite or scratch my toddler. (Who knows what strays may carry?) I’ve politely asked my neighbours to stop putting out food, but they dismissed my request and, worse, got sanctimonious, implying I was a bad person for wanting the animals to go hungry. How can I make them stop?

—Dog Person, Brockton Village

Unfortunately, the law is on your neighbours’ side. There are no regulations barring Torontonians from feeding feral cats, so shutting down the backyard buffet isn’t really an option. You can,

however, make your property unappealing to the critters: orange peels, coffee grounds, vinegar (and, in the summer months, a sprinkler) are all effective deterrents. For a longer-term solution, call the Humane Society or look into the city’s trap-neuter-return program. You can even invite your cat-loving neighbours to join the cause.

Dear Urban Diplomat, I’m an elementary school teacher, and my co-workers are a pretty generous crew: every time a colleague has a baby, we put out a collection basket and chip in to buy the new arrival a gift. Lately, though, it’s getting a little out of hand. One of my colleagues asked us to contribute to a baby gift for a woman who doesn’t even work here anymore, which I think is ridiculous. How do I opt out without looking like a cheapskate?

—Gift Miffed, Lawrence Heights

Gifts should come from a place of kindness, not obligation—or at least that’s the kind of thing a teacher might say. If you don’t want to hop on the bandwagon, then don’t. Since they’re merely putting out a hat, no one will know how much (or how little) you contribute. But keep your indignation to yourself— speaking up would not only expose your stinginess but also spoil the fun for your co-workers, many of whom were probably closer with your former colleague than you were.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com