Urban Diplomat Advice on how to be a civilized Torontonian

My dad started smoking cannabis to help alleviate his arthritis pain. At first, I was all for it, but now he’s taking his newfound interest a bit too far. He’s high every time I see him and won’t stop sending me weed-related memes. It’s annoying, but I’m mostly concerned that it might be affecting his memory. He forgot about dinner plans we made recently and didn’t even call me on my birthday, which is really unlike him. How do I stop him from becoming a total waste-case? Proper pain management doesn’t require a complete metamorphosis into a Snoop Dogg caricature. If your father continues to act like a stoned teenager, have a conversation with him to raise your concerns about how his new hobby is affecting his day-today life and encourage him to speak to his doctor about appropriate cannabis consumption before his memory goes up in smoke.

Dear Urban Diplomat, My partner and I celebrate New Year’s Eve with the same group of couples every year. One of the husbands started this “joke” a while back where, at midnight, he goes around and kisses every woman in the room. He thinks it’s all in good fun, but I find it really annoying. Last year, I tried to dodge him, and he called me out for not being a good sport while everyone else just stood around awkwardly. What can I do make this year’s party a smoochfree zone?

—Death to Smoochy, The Annex

First, I need to know whether we’re talking about a cheek-to-cheek air kiss or a sloppy wet one on the lips. If it’s the former, I’d say let it go. The latter, however, calls for proactive measures. This year, take your friend aside before the countdown begins and be blunt. Tell him his unsolicited mouth-tomouth isn’t everyone’s idea of a good start to the year and ask him to kindly

back off. If he can’t respect your boundaries, let this be the year you kiss him goodbye.

Dear Urban Diplomat, I work as a professional photographer and took a lot of pictures of my ex during the year we were dating. We broke up a few months ago, after she admitted to being in love with someone else, but that hasn’t stopped her from posting at least a dozen of my photos on her Instagram account since. We don’t talk anymore, so I’m hesitant to bring it up, but every time I see one of her posts on my feed it feels like I’m getting suckerpunched in the gut. Should I send her a message asking her to cease and desist, or am I being petty?

—Photosensitive, Dundas West

It’s not petty to want your ex to stop instagramming your photos, but there’s really no way to ask her to do so without coming across as bitter, vindictive and, worst of all, a lurker. My advice: take the high road, and do your best to avoid the daily annoyances by unfollowing your former muse or muting her posts. It’s not like she’s turned this into a commercial venture and is profiting off your unpaid labour. Eventually, she’ll run out of content and revert to posting poorly lit selfies like the rest of us.