Women lose in office love
Maybe Pam Coburn is on to something.
“Office romances are an increasing fact of life in the 21st century,” the suspended Toronto bureaucrat announced yesterday, in publicly defending her affair with Joseph Carnevale, her second- in- command at city hall.
Recent career studies suggest more employees are admitting they’ve engaged in some sort of romantic liaison at the office. But experts also say hook- ups involving superiors and subordinates are prone to messy endings for all concerned. And the woman — regardless of her status — rarely emerges unscathed.
According to Vault Inc., a U. S. website that researches workplaces, 58 per cent of respondents to its 2005 Office Romance Survey said they found love at work — a 12 per cent increase over its 2003 survey. Some of those office flings result in permanent relationships. A 2003 American Management Association survey showed 44 per cent of managers who dated
Percent of 2,000 North American adults surveyed by book-seller Harlequin this year who said they thought work was the best place to meet a partner. 18.7: Percent of adults in same survey who said they met their current or last significant other at work. 58: Percent of respondents to Vault Inc.’ s 2005 Office Romance Survey who said they found love at work. 22: Percent of respondents to the same survey who said they met their spouse at work. 14: Percent of respondents who said they dated a boss. someone from work eventually married their new partner. With the number of hours Canadians spend at work, and divorce rates on the rise, career experts say the statistics aren’t surprising.
“Because it’s not something that companies encourage, it’s more fun,” said Donna Messer, president of Oakville- based ConnectUs Communications Canada, a firm that specializes in corporate networking. “ We can flirt, do that ‘ Oh, he touched me as I went by the water fountain’ thing. It’s juvenile but it’s exciting because we don’t think anybody knows that we’re doing it.” But people do notice, Messer said, especially co- workers. In cases where a manager gets cozy with an underling, other employees often begin to feel they are victims of favouritism, regardless of whether preferential treatment actually takes place. And the couple’s productivity levels are bound to take a hit. “ When you’re in love, you can’t concentrate as fully on things,” Messer said.
Ronald Burke, professor emeritus of organizational behaviour at York University’s Schulich School of Business, said workplaces with high numbers of female employees tend to be more susceptible to office romances.
While the relationships those offices are most likely to spawn involve lower-ranking females and higher-ranking male employees, women, often perceived as home- wreckers, “ get punished” more for their actions, Burke said.
“ There’s a long history of the way women have been seen in these kinds of relationships,” he
Office love
said. “ Men can fool around and women can’t. They (the relationships) are destructive.” Although Ontario workers can’t legally be fired for office dating, the boundaries are difficult to define, Burke said. Workers who plan on conducting relationships beneath the boss’s nose should be discreet.
“ People in them had best not be in direct- reporting relationships,” Burke said, adding couples can avoid “image problems” by voluntarily transferring to separate departments. He also said few companies have policies relating specifically to workplace dating and instead refer employees to general codes of conduct. Brad Ross, a spokesman for the City of Toronto, said there is no policy at City Hall that deals specifically with workplace romances. However, the city’s conflict of interest policy says “ close personal relationships or relationships beyond family” can cause problems. It states that employees should “avoid placing themselves in situations where their personal interests actually or potentially conflict with the interests of the city.”
Messer, who does corporate consulting on relationship issues, said she hasn’t seen data to suggest companies are rushing to develop dating policy guidelines. However, companies are going to greater lengths to monitor employee conduct, including in email, she said. A 2004 study by the American Management Association found 60 per cent of the 840 American firms surveyed check external emails for numerous reasons; 27 per cent scrutinize internal messages between employees.
“ We’re really brave when we’re on the screen,” Messer said. 19: Percent of respondents who said they dated a subordinate. 44: Percent of managers who married a partner they met at work, according to a 2003 American Management Association survey. 28: Percent of 1,000 adults surveyed in 2004 by George Brown College human resource management students who said they would date their boss if it would help their careers. 1994: Year it became illegal in Ontario to fire an employee for dating a co-worker.