Grateful for a second chance
Movie based on Terry Evanshen’s fight with memory loss Former CFL star has battled back, by Chris Zelkovich
When Terry Evanshen sits down on Tuesday to watch the movie based on his life, he’ll be seeing his story the way most Canadians will: for the first time. The CFL Hall of Fame receiver did indeed go through all the trauma portrayed in The Man Who Lost Himself: The Terry Evanshen Story (8 p.m., CTV). That, and a lot more. But because a 1988 car accident erased all memory of the first 44 years of his life and left him with impaired short- term recall, he can’t really say he remembers what happened. He knows he saw the movie in a preview screening recently, but can’t recall what emotions it produced. Nor can he remember the physical and emotional pain or the triumphs that followed the accident.
‘‘ It’s like everything else,” he says. ‘‘ I can do something 10,000 times and every time is like the first time.
‘‘ That’s why I never get bored, because everything’s fresh.” That sense of humour has helped Evanshen in facing life with the rare combination of permanent long- term memory loss and impaired short-term memory. The crash permanently wiped out the first 44 years of his life. He didn’t know his family. When he was told that the woman sitting at his bedside was his wife Lorraine, he asked, ‘‘ What’s wife?”
But, as the movie illustrates, he came back thanks to the support of his family and the kind of determination that allowed a 5foot- 9 kid from Montreal to become one of the most dominant pass receivers in the CFL for 14 seasons. Evanshen admits watching the movie was an odd experience.
‘‘ I tried to find words to say how I felt after I saw it,” he says from his Brooklin, Ont., home. ‘‘ Is it me? Did I really do that? All I want to do is tell the truth, tell it the way it was.” But he admits that he’s not really sure that’s the way it was.
‘‘ I’m sort of able to live for the moment,” he says. ‘‘ But it’s not the same. There’s sort of a reflection, like you’re looking into a mirror.” Evanshen doesn’t want anybody feeling sorry for him. Life is good, he says.
Yes, it’s a struggle. He must record everyday events on a calendar and discuss them with someone; otherwise, he might not remember they ever happened. But he’s grateful for what he calls his second life.
That began when he was returning from work and his vehicle was struck by a van running a red light. The crash did enough damage to his body: 14 shattered ribs, a collapsed lung, lacerated spleen and perforated diaphragm. But those injuries were minor compared to the trauma inflicted upon his brain. When he awoke from a twoweek coma, the Terry Evanshen everyone knew was gone. The former football star known for his smarts and tenacity was basically a 2- year- old.
‘‘ I had to be totally retrained,” he says.
That meant learning how to dress himself, show affection and walk. It took nine months of pain and frustration before he could walk the two kilometres to the main road.
It was a painful process and not just in the physical sense. Evanshen couldn’t tell right from wrong and the same determination that made him a perennial CFL all- star in the ’ 60s and ’ 70s made him impossible to live with.
‘‘ I drove everybody nuts because I wanted to do it right away,” he says. ‘‘ I’d get up in the middle of the night, go outside and fall down in the driveway, then come back and yell at them, ‘ What are you sleeping for? I’m not sleeping, so get up.’ ” He used to wander on one of the fields on his farm, where he would yell at the clouds because he didn’t like the way they moved. He’d scream at the grass because it was bending the wrong way. The screaming turned out to be cathartic and allowed him to take out his frustrations on clouds and grass instead of on those close to him.
‘‘ It was my sanctuary,” he says. The field is now filled with trees, planted for his grandchildren.
Always a positive sort, Evanshen looks upon the accident and all that followed as the start of a new life as a motivational speaker.
‘‘ I found a new purpose in my life,” he says. ‘‘ In my first life, I was fortunate enough and talented enough to be able to entertain people.
‘‘ But now by talking to people I entertain the possibilities in each person. I ask them to look within themselves and try to do your best. I feel that if I reached one person in the audience who says, ‘ Maybe I should look at myself, I wasn’t really that affectionate to my wife or to my kids, or I’m too cranky,’ what a victory that is.”
His motivation? He says it’s the fact he can do things. His inspiration? Daughter Jennifer, who died of cancer in 2001, at the age of 24. Evanshen says he’s ready for more. He and wife Lorraine raise horses on their farm and he and son- in- law Dave Coito have plans to start a flower farm next spring. Though he knows of his career only through what he’s seen and been told, he’s still a big CFL fan. The hot- dogging and dancing bothers him, but he’s a big fan of Montreal’s Ben Cahoon, who plays the game the way he did.
‘‘ That kid comes to play and I respect that,” he says. ‘‘ The way he goes after the ball . . . there hasn’t been too many guys I can see that did what I did from what other people tell me.” They also tell him he missed only three games in 14 years and lost only three fumbles, accomplishments in which he takes great pride. He also takes great pride in the fact that the award for the most outstanding player in the East was given his name in 1995. But he’s not happy that he hasn’t been part of that award.
In fact, when the CFL announced on Wednesday that Argo quarterback Damon Allen had won the East’s most outstanding player award, there was no mention of Evanshen.
‘‘ I’d love to present the trophy, but it’s not for me to say,” he says. ‘‘ Is that being selfish? I don’t think so.” The CFL says it has too often neglected its history and is making efforts to reconnect with its past. Celebrating the careers and lives of players such as Evanshen might be a good start.
‘‘ I’d like that,” he says.