When P.E.I. met Mumbai
he Jewish bride wore a sari.
The Sikh groom stepped on a glass to seal the deal. Where else to hold this wedding but the epitome of WASP Toronto — Casa Loma?
Gurbir Jolly and Jessica Poole, who were born worlds apart — he in Mumbai and she in Charlottetown, P. E. I. — began married life last Sunday in a fusion wedding surrounded by 175 of their family and closest friends.
It was in the intimacy of a graduate class in Italian Renaissance history at York University, where both are PhD students in humanities and English, that the couple met in September 2003.
Initially, they would meet after class in a group with other students. Soon they were meeting on their own. By the following spring they were a couple and they moved into a Cabbagetown flat together last fall.
“ Things happened very quickly. I realized I was in love very early on,” says Poole, 26, who had had no intention of rushing into a relationship, having just ended an eight- year liaison with her high school sweetheart.
Jolly, 33, had dated only Indian women before meeting Poole. He was equally smitten.
“ Jessica is such an open- hearted and beautiful person. When she speaks to you, you have her full attention in the most sincere way. Her eyes don’t drift.”
There was, they say, never a popping- the- question moment. Their conversations this year just veered from “ If we get married” to “ When we are married.” Both their families were supportive from the beginning — something that may have to do with the fact that they’re also of mixed- faith backgrounds.
TPoole’s mother is the Jewish daughter of parents who emigrated from Hungary, while her father was raised in the United Church. Jolly’s late father was Sikh, while his mother was raised Catholic in India.
In 2001, Poole’s father, a musician, played tuba on the soundtrack for Monsoon Wedding, a movie about a boisterous Punjabi wedding. Poole saw the movie, one of her favourites, three times. “ It was almost a foreshadowing of what was going to happen in my life.”
Jolly’s mother hosted a traditional Punjabi sangeet, an occasion to sing and dance, where women apply decorative mehendi in preparation for the wedding. Poole’s grandfather hosted an engagement party with Indian food and Indianjazz fusion music.
At Casa Loma, a musician playing a dhol ( drum) led the bharat, or traditional Punjabi marriage procession.
In the castle’s conservatory, the ceremony took place under a mandip or huppah, a marriage canopy decorated with flowers, a custom in both Indian and Jewish traditions. The rabbi read from the Song of Songs; Jolly’s sister Deepika read the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. A cocktail reception later featured mango martinis and 300 freshly shucked oysters flown in from the east coast. The sit- down dinner featured Cornish hen and all the guests took part in a 30- minute horah, a celebratory Jewish dance.
“ I’m still a Bombay boy at heart and she’s still an Islander,” says Jolly, who is planning a honeymoon for December in Mexico.
“ But we really never felt that being together meant compromising who we are.”