T.O. not on NFL road map
Canada doesn’t register in global game plan talk
INDIANAPOLIS— For all those who remain hopeful that Toronto will either buy an existing NFL franchise or receive a future expansion club, the message coming out of Indianapolis on Friday was depressingly clear: “Toronto who?”
It is league commissioner Roger Goodell’s annual practice to arrive at this event two days before kickoff and use the chance to preach his expansionist gospel. It is full of obfuscations and the odd pandering lie. “Player safety and health is the No. 1 priority of the NFL,” a straight-faced Goodell said.
Making money is the No. 1 priority of the NFL and every other successful business on Earth. If safety was the priority, it would be called the National Flag Football League and everybody would play it for free in parks.
However, when you drill down there is always some information to be gleaned. This year, Goodell was keen to talk about the league’s (currently non-existent) global reach.
“No doubt, the whole world will be watching on Sunday,” Goodell said three times, in case people were busy swaying in place under his cobra stare the first couple of times.
That’s demonstrably untrue. The Super Bowl draws just north of 100 million viewers in the U.S. It draws substantially less than that throughout the rest of the planet.
If the world is watching, it will be for the 15 minutes that Madonna is on stage. That’s why she’s here — global reach. Since pop holds sway across the developing world, we may already have seen the death of the rock-’n’-roll halftime act at this event.
A great many countries were name-checked by Goodell and his pursuers in the press during proceedings. Brazil got some love. China got a hit.
INDIANAPOLIS— Patriots coach Bill Belichick shuffled uncomfortably out in a sack suit on Friday morning for his press availability, looking like he was wearing a hairshirt.
Belichick managed that special art of moving his lips and emitting sounds for 15 minutes, without actually saying anything. The man is so bland he appears to bore himself.
However, he did give the Rob Gronkowski “better every day” speech the Patriots have mastered. He added one small sample of substantiveness, in order to prove how banal the rest of it had been — Gronkowski felt no ill effects after a half-speed practice on Thursday. So, let’s face it, he’s playing. What are we going to talk about now?!
Later, Tom Coughlin came out and said a couple of things. First, that all 53 Giants players will be available Sunday (see above cry for help and add two question marks and one exclamation point).
Also, he added parenthetically that he spends the off-season reading historical biographies and subjecting himself to a “valid selfanalysis.” Isn’t that how Churchill did it?
FULL REVIEW: You know what the NFL needs? More replay.
That’s another one of the tidbits coming out of Roger Goodell’s annual stepping down off the mount with two stone tablets in hand. Goodell suggested (after his address, actually) that the league will investigate reviewing not just all scoring plays in the end zone, but all plays, period. All the league’s fans will then investigate Pvring games in future and beginning to watch them 20 minutes after they start.
NO EXPANSION: Goodell may also have been telling porky pies when he absolutely, positively, definitively denied that he or anybody else in the league is thinking about expansion or the movement of existing franchises. “We haven’t talked about expansion at all,” Goodell said. “I don’t see that in the foreseeable future.” If he’s serious, there will be two kajillionaires planning new stadium projects in Los Angeles who may want more definitive word before they start tearing things down.
MORE THURSDAYS: Next year, the league is planning to expand its schedule of Thursday games from Week 2 up to and including Week15. So if you’re planning on having a family, make sure she knows you are going to be fully committed to that project on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and certain Fridays.