Still more myth than hit
Wrath of the Titans
(out of 4) Starring Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Rosamund Pike. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman. 99 minutes. Opens March 30 at major theatres. 14A
The Law of Diminished Expectations works in favour of Wrath of the Titans, but don’t get your hopes up. Two years ago, Hollywood belched out Clash of the Titans, a botched remake of a cheesy 1980s sword-and-sandals epic by the same name. This re- Clash was notable for its crummy 3D conversion, cardboard characters and tangled Greek mythology.
There was nowhere to go but up, and with eager new hire Jonathan Liebesman ( Battle Los Angeles) at the helm, Wrath heads modestly and noisily in that direction. It’s an improvement on no direction at all.
This one has much beefier 3D and also a bulkier Sam Worthington, returning as split-personality hero Perseus. Half god and half human, he’s like a Chippendales dancer without the smile.
Wrath also has stronger characters and a modestly more interesting plot: a trip by Perseus to hell and back to rescue his bearded pappy Zeus (Liam Neeson), a full-blooded god who has fallen on hard times.
Seems humans have been slacking off in the prayer department, depriving their deities of needed ego strokes: “Without prayer, we lose our powers,” Zeus moans.
This is no big deal to Perseus, who after vanquishing the evil sea beastie Kraken in the last episode decided to become a humble fisherman of considerably smaller catches. He’s also now a single dad, father to young Helius (John Bell).
Zeus keeps nagging his son about squandering his birthright — “The son of Zeus can’t hide from his destiny forever” — but Perseus just tells him to talk to the hand. That is until Zeus’s nasty brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes) returns to cause more mayhem, beginning by kidnapping his sibling. Hades is in cahoots with Zeus’s psychopathic other son, Ares (Edgar Ramirez), and also twisted family patriarch Kronos, a fiery presence who resembles the evil yellow dirtbag from The Green Lantern (whose scribe, Greg Berlanti, is one of several credited writers here). Hades and his homies hang out in a rocky underground lair of psychedelic hues that looks very much like hell, or maybe the cover of Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy album, minus the naked cherubs. It is there they take the kidnapped Zeus, the intent being to drain his remaining godly powers so the helldwellers can cause more havoc above. Terse Perseus feels obliged to rescue his pa, in the cynical company of fellow half-deity Agenor (Toby Kebbell, channelling Russell Brand). They’re also joined by warrior queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), who seems to think she’s signed on for a remake of The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Needless to say, but I will anyway, the road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but not with rest stops and express lanes. Perseus and his posse have to deal not only with a labyrinthine series of tunnels on the way down, which make parts of this film very claustrophobic, they also have to tangle with the usual array of mythological menaces. This includes not one but three Cyclops, the arrival of which allows Perseus to deliver what for this film qualifies as a great one-liner: “You gotta be kidding me.” You see one Cyclops battle, you see them all, and that goes for the rest of the Cgi-rendered action, which gets progressively larger and louder as Kronos finally rises from his fire pit.
Worthington remains a distinctly humourless hero, which makes you long for the likes of a prime-time Harrison Ford or Arnold Schwarzenegger, who knew how to make a fondue out of cheese. The two guys in Wrath who get it are the returning Neeson and Fiennes, who will happily chew any scenery with conviction as long as the paycheque doesn’t bounce. So will Bill Nighy, who has a too-brief but memorable role as the tour guide to hell.
At this non-titanic rate of improvement, this series may approach adequacy in about five years or so. Right now, though, comparing Wrath to Clash is like examining two mangy mutts to see which one has the fewest fleas.