YOUR STARS

ARIES (March 21 — April 20)

What do we come to this planet for? Why have nearly seven billion of us given up our place in the world beyond and taken up temporary residence in human form? Why have we have swapped eternal peace and infinite knowledge for this strange, troubled existence? We have even allowed our memories to be wiped on arrival, so that we can no longer recall our true origin. But despite the craziness and chaos in your emotional life lately, something soon puts you in touch with a profound experience of life’s magic. Pick up the phone. I’ll give you a reading that could change your life. Call 1-900528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

TAURUS (April 21 — May 21)

Are you lucky? No, you are much more than lucky. You are blessed. The cosmos has a special place for you in its heart. It doesn’t so much look out for your best interests, as look out for everyone else in case they inadvertently compromise your best interests! You are not aware of this? That’s as it should be. You don’t need to fawn with obsequious gratitude in order to earn this heavenly boon. It comes naturally. Just trust that help is there and reach for it. A minor miracle may yet occur in your emotional life soon. There’s exceptionally good news in your in-depth forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

GEMINI (May 22 — June 22)

There is a task now that you are reluctant to delegate. You fear that nobody else understands quite how to fulfil a particular need. It seems easier to do a job right yourself, than to go through the painstaking process of explaining the various details to someone else. But unless you want to be a prisoner for all time to your own sense of duty — you at least need to try letting someone else in on the great secret of how to make sure that things are done right. Find someone you think you can trust . . . and trust them! There’s special insight in your forecast. You need to hear it. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

CANCER (June 23 — July 23)

They say that hope springs eternal. Pessimism, though, is perennial too. We think we have solved our problems. Suddenly, there they are, back again. Does something within us secretly thrive on disappointment? Do we unwittingly create obstacles for ourselves? Or do they just find a way into our lives, whether we invite them or not? You now fear that if you take a brave step towards a heart’s desire, it will backfire. You suspect it may be wiser to set your sights lower. But you may yet get a brilliant opportunity. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

LEO (July 24 — Aug. 23)

Unanswered questions. Unresolved issues. Unsolved mysteries. Where would we be without them? What kind of a planet would this be? What fun would anyone have? Oh, spare us all from the eternal tedium of perpetual certainty. Unless, that is, the doubts are our own. We love it when other people cannot see their way forward. Your emotional confusion now may be uncomfortable but it is potentially most beneficial. Live with it. Don’t try to force it to a false end. Then there will be a real revelation. There’s more, deeper insight in your in-depth forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

VIRGO (Aug. 24 — Sept. 23)

You mustn’t underestimate your importance, your power, your luck or your wisdom. Normally, you’re very confident. When one thing, though, doesn’t work out quite the way you feel it ought to, you start to doubt everything else. You know that nobody’s perfect — but you forget that this includes you. Then, when faced with nothing more than natural evidence of a healthy truth, you feel bad. Don’t. Feel good instead. And feel sure of what you’re capable of. Because your heart can now make some truly amazing things happen. Hear how your life could change for the better soon. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

LIBRA (Sept. 24 — Oct. 23)

“And they all lived happily ever after . . .” or so the story goes. Much though you dream of hearing those words in connection to your own saga, you know that real life never carries that kind of guarantee. I can’t promise you a happy-ever-after, but I can predict a distinct improvement in your situation. You will, for a while to come at least, start living more happily than you were living before. Here, in your emotional life at least, comes the end of something awkward and the start of something good. I’ve recorded a special forecast for you. Become inspired. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 — Nov. 22)

Some adventure stories need to be carefully planned and plotted. Others write themselves. If the quest is worthwhile, if the characters are colourful and if the places they have to pass through are interesting, you have the makings of a good novel — or, more relevantly now, the makings of a good decision — one you can take with confidence. You don’t now need to know every detail yet. It’s enough to trust that you are embarking on a new emotional adventure, the details of which will take care of themselves — delightfully. Need to know more? Listen to your in-depth forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 — Dec. 21)

Have the courage of your convictions. That may seem like strange advice — but, in one crucial area, you are not being as assertive, or dynamic as you ought to be. You are clinging to a spurious assumption whilst doubting a fact that is staring you in the face. This may be because you find it slightly unpalatable. It is more comforting to tell yourself that you can’t be sure and had better sit on the fence. The fence, though, is sharp. It is time to come off it. You will not just feel better — you’ll make essential progress. You really should hear your in-depth forecast. It’s powerful. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 — Jan. 20)

Is the universe unfair? Is the cosmos unjust? Absolutely not. It can seem this way at times, not least because the ethereal forces operate upon lines that we earthbound beings perceive as anything but straight! But then, you don’t have to journey into another dimension to encounter a difference of opinion. You now seem to be dealing with a rule, a policy or a procedure that you cannot easily accept. But what’s in your heart, all on its own, is your promise of imminent justice and success. Let me tell you how you can make your week really great. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 — Feb. 19)

Why cast pearls before swine? Why sow seeds on stony ground? Why bang your head against a brick wall? These are rhetorical questions. They cannot be answered. Whenever we find ourselves doing such things, we never have a satisfactory reason. We just find ourselves doing them nonetheless. Then, suddenly, we realize why that activity is pointless. We learn what we need to and instantly, our lives improve. You fear, in your emotional life, you have been pursuing a lost cause. It may not be lost after all! I need to talk to you about what’s in your forecast. (It’s good). Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

PISCES (Feb. 20 — March 20)

We all attend the university of life, but we do not all graduate with a distinction. Some of us learn our lessons swiftly. Others doze through the lectures and lose the course notes. Yet, sooner or later, even the sleepier students wake up to great discoveries. Life is about exploration, experimentation, trial and error, adventure and understanding. Above all else, it is about happiness. That’s what you want more than any sense of superiority or even equality. You’ve got a chance now to start feeling it, too! I’ve just been talking about you. Want to hear what I said? Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)