YOUR STARS

Dear Jonathan, Like many people, I get brief electric shocks on escalators and from metal rails in shops. But I have realized that it only happens if I am not thinking about it, never when I am expecting it. Angela Dear Angela, That’s a slightly different topic to the one we’ve been covering lately, about people for whom lights seem to switch on or off when they get into particular moods. But now you’ve got me wondering. Do other readers feel they have experienced an ability to attract or repel static electricity, simply through using the power of thought?

ARIES (March 21 — April 20)

When people settle for second best, they might genuinely believe they are never going to accomplish any more, so they should resign themselves to this. Or they may feel that any further progress would come at some considerable material or emotional cost, which they could never justify. The reasons don’t matter but the attitudes adopted from that point onwards make a big difference. They have to stop seeing it as second best and view it as a personal best for them. That’s really all you need to remember this weekend. If you want good news, let me give you your in-depth April forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

TAURUS (April 21 — May 21)

If there’s something you want, why can’t you have it? Okay. Let’s stop and qualify a few things. First of all, let’s go back to that phrase, “Why can’t you have it?” and insert the word, “eventually.” Most things can happen over time if people are patient enough, can’t they? So, let’s go further back. This “something” that you want. How badly do you want it? The desire has to be pretty strong and deep if it is to motivate all the time and energy that must be dedicated to fulfilling it. But those, really, are the only caveats. The rest is up to you.

Looking forward to April? You will be soon! Let me tell you why. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

GEMINI (May 22 — June 22)

Businesses make money by buying items at low prices and selling them for a higher ones. They have to cover the costs of their staff and premises. They also have to generate a profit. Is that fair? Well, it is definitely how the world works, so let us at least accept that most people consider it fair enough. You could also ask if it is fair when the business owners get their calculations wrong and lose money? Again, it is a moot point. This weekend, life presents you with a fairer way to do a deal and minimise a risk. I have just recorded your light-shedding, heart-warming, April forecast. Call 1-900528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

CANCER (June 23 — July 23)

It is one thing to fear an alien invasion because you have read too many sci-fi novels and drunk too much coffee. It’s different if you have been through the electronics catalogue, ordered lots of parts and slowly constructed a home-made intergalactic radio transmitter through which you are now in active contact with the lizard-like inhabitants of the Zarg galaxy. Or, to put it another way, what is the real basis of your biggest worry this weekend? Deal with the part that you have some control over. It’s time to embrace the future. I explain how in your April forecast. Call 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

LEO (July 24 — Aug. 23)

We mentioned North Korea yesterday. Let’s not do it again today. Oh, whoops! Sorry. Too late. Still, though, at least we can all understand why the newspapers are full of celebrity gossip and bickering local politicians. Better for us all to hear about that than the truly nerveracking stuff. Indeed, it may be far better because that Korean saga could well turn out to be the kind of thing that gets everybody anxious and then fades away to nothing. So too, could be the factor that’s causing you the most worry this weekend. You’ve got so much to look forward to in April. Let me tell you more. Call 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

VIRGO (Aug. 24 — Sept. 23)

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.” Ah, The

Desiderata. An old poem found in a graveyard? Or a more recent composition? There was much debate about this in the seventies, when those words were read out on a hit record. Anyway, I only mention this because I am aware that your forecast, this week, has had overtones of that same message. So, is it just psycho-babble? Or are you truly under that protection of a benign cosmos? You will see your reassuring proof this weekend. When you hear your April forecast it will change everything for the better. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

LIBRA (Sept. 24 — Oct. 23)

When will the world become a better place? When we all start trying a little harder to make it into one! But it won’t necessarily be when various political battles have been fought and won — especially if those campaigns have involved anger directed at the forces of government that are trying to control the world in another way. It will be love, compassion, tolerance and understanding that make the difference and bring the only victory worth having. This weekend, you can be part of something truly inspiring. Embrace it. I’ve got helpful advice and pleasing news for you in your April forecast. Call 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 — Nov. 22)

“Nostalgia,” they say, “isn’t what it used to be.” Or at least, that’s what they say when they are trying to be funny. But nostalgia is still what it has always been. A way of getting misty-eyed about some part of the past. Either we convince ourselves that it was all much better than it really was or we decide that it was worse and we exaggerate the bad memory so much that we will make any sacrifice as long as we feel this prevents us from having to go back there once more. But you sorely need a more measured view this weekend. Get more out of April. Call your new in-depth, monthahead forecast: 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 — Dec. 21)

There may be no such thing as true neutrality. No matter how much we may strive for objectivity, detachment and the enlightened wisdom that only impartiality can provide, we soon get edgy when vested interests crop up. How can we swallow back our feelings when a matter that is under discussion involves people we love or principles we care about? Yet some ideals, even if they can never be totally attained, are worth striving for nonetheless. The very act of aspiring to a higher plane, will put you on one this weekend. Make the most of April. You’ll

- cast inspiring. Call 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 — Jan. 20)

Every time we turn on the TV these days, we see someone in a kitchen cooking. There they are, carefully combining these fine ingredients with those exquisite flavours. Just imagine if all that cordon bleu cuisine ended up being offered on chipped, faded, crockery to be eaten with rusty knives and forks. Presentation isn’t everything but if you’ve got substance, you might as well have some style. What you’ve got this weekend is worth making the most of. Give some respect and you will get more back. In your in-depth April forecast, I’ll tell you something very helpful. Call 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 — Feb. 19)

When psychologists invite their clients to recall formative childhood experiences, they don’t just do it to help them come up with excuses. “Oh, I can’t help being like this because when I was little that happened.” The real object of the exercise involves understanding the past so that you can see how it has shaped the present — and thus take control over how the future will turn out. It is often much easier to break habits once you know what has caused you to fall into them. This weekend brings you education and liberation. You’ve got auspicious alignments in April. Let me tell you more. Call 1-900-5288880. (Cell # 5486.)

PISCES (Feb. 20 — March 20)

Some people are behind the times in their clothes or attitudes. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as it is the result of a conscious choice and not just the accidental by-product of inertia. Other folk are ahead of their time. Some even get so close to the cutting-edge that they end up with wounds. But then, pioneering spirits get rewarded almost as often as they get rebuffed. Yet nothing in this world is quite as powerful as an idea that has come at the moment when the world is ready for that idea — as you will see this weekend. Cash in your astrological assets! Call me for your April forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)