The Star’s view:
The sad silence of our friends,
Rehtaeh Parsons wasn’t bullied to death, her dad says. Glen Canning says the Nova Scotia teen was “disappointed to death” by people she felt let her down, including police, her school and friends. She felt an entire community had turned its back on her, and she sought suicide to end the pain.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper spoke for many when he said that as a parent he was “sickened seeing a story like this.” There’s a point at which “bullying” doesn’t begin to describe the violence that is being inflicted on some vulnerable young people in our midst, he said. “It is youth criminal activity. It is violent criminal activity. It is sexual criminal activity. And it is often Internet criminal activity.” And sadly, it can be lethal.
After an 18-month battle with suicidal thoughts, Rehtaeh hanged herself on April 4 and died three days later. Her mother Leah Parsons says the teen’s ordeal began in 2011when she was15 and was sexually assaulted by four youths at a house party. The family says one of the teens took a cellphone photo of her being assaulted, and it was passed around the town of Cole Harbour and her school through email and social media. Students called her a “slut” when she walked through the school. Friends turned against her. Youths tormented and propositioned her online.
When police said no charges would be laid after a lengthy investigation, despite the cellphone evidence, Rehtaeh drifted into depression. On her Facebook page she lamented “the silence of our friends.”
Shamed by the furor over her death, Nova Scotia Premier Darrell Dexter has ordered a sweeping if belated review of provincial support services for people who face sexual violence, involving the ministries of justice, education, community services and health. The government has faced criticism for not doing enough to prevent bullying and identifying at-risk students. This tragedy may prompt more action.
Meanwhile, Justice Minister Ross Landry, after initially ruling out a review of how the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Crown prosecutors handled the case, was suddenly moved to consider his options. The teen’s family says “the justice system failed us completely,” claiming it took10 months for investigators to interview the alleged assailants. If so, that is a troubling aspect of this case. And in a sudden turn on Friday, the RCMP, saying it has “new and credible information” from a person willing to be identified and work with detectives, reopened the case.
Certainly, if any part of Nova Scotia’s justice, school or social system let the teen down, it should be identified and fixed.
But as the Amanda Todd case last year reminded us, bullying is a wider national concern. The 15-year-old British Columbia teen committed suicide after appearing on a YouTube video spelling out on cue cards her anguished tale of being cyberbullied for years. Like Rehtaeh, she felt isolated and hopeless.
In both cases, the shadowy hacktivist group Anonymous got involved, threatening to expose alleged tormenters. In Todd’s case, police said they fingered a wrong person. In Parsons’ case, they have held off naming anyone, for now. Still, this haphazard cyber vigilantism isn’t the answer. Consistent, solid police work is what is needed.
And as Harper rightly noted, society must recognize that bullying is more than just “kids misbehaving.” Parents, relatives, teachers, sports coaches, police, judges, the media and clergy — voices of authority — need to send the message in words and actions that bullying, including cyberbullying, is a repugnant, socially unacceptable activity along with racism, sexism, homophobia and other hurtful attitudes. They should encourage kids who are bullied or who witness bullying to speak out.
And they should urge young people to remember what many learn as toddlers: hands are for helping, not hurting. More hands could have reached out to Rehtaeh and Amanda to help heal their hurt.
Rehtaeh Parsons’ family says her ordeal began in 2011 when she was 15 and was sexually assaulted at a house party