POP GOES THE WEEK
James Gandolfini and Steve Carell will star in an HBO movie about feuding paleontologists How exciting. Dinosaur bonezzzzzzz.
Sears Portrait Studios have closed
down “Dammit,” said my mullet and the burgundy jacket with the shoulder pads and gold buttons.
Courtney Love claims she’s been approached to become a judge on a
TV talent show Guesses as to which
show it may be include X Factor, The Voice, American Idol and Where The Bleep Am I and Where Are My Bleeping Pants?
A friend of Lindsay Lohan says he fears for Lindsay’s life if she goes to
Coachella So right. She wouldn’t be the first victim of a tragic peasant skirt accident.
Taylor Swift says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get married or stay single and, “you know, paint in a cottage by the ocean by myself” Or, you know, mutter to yourself in a leaky mansion while surrounded by one-eyed cats.
Russell Brand says he’d like a threesome with the Kardashians Learning too late that it always pays to be specific, Russell is caught off guard when Kris Jenner and Scott Disick show up.
Gwyneth Paltrow says she raps like a “bad mutha” when she cooks and that she has a butt like a 22year-old stripper She also says she had no idea what “trying too hard” means because she’s so “street.”
John Barrowman will guest star on an upcoming episode of Scandal Well, that’s it then. Nothing could ever get any better than that, so we may as well just end television now.
Just weeks after horse meat was found in IKEA’s meatballs, pork has now been found in their moose lasagna Whatevs. I just wish I hadn’t found a Snërtle shelf in my Vikkalööttyr deck chair.
Tom Cruise says he wasn’t “expecting it” when Katie Holmes asked for a divorce Proving once again that he truly is one in a million.
Simon Cowell says he couldn’t care less if people think he’s gay People respond that, if it’s OK with Simon, they’d rather not think of him as having any type of sex at all.
Morrissey calls Margaret Thatcher a “terror without an atom of
humanity” Says a rep for the Syfy channel, “we’d like to copyright that title for a movie. It’ll be bigger than
Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep.”
This week in completely unrelated
items Kim Cattrall says she’s been on a diet since 1974, and five tons of Nutella are stolen from a truck in Germany.
STARGAZING . . .
. . . will return