YOUR STARS
Dear Jonathan, Your zodiac forecasts have enlightened me in many ways. They have also taught me that I can’t escape my fate, whether this is a good thing or not. Harutyun Dear Harutyun, I sincerely hope that this is not what they have taught you. This may
ARIES (March 21 — April 20) You can’t do everything, all at once. Indeed, you can’t do everything, no matter how much time you take over it. There’s always going to be something that gets put to one side, left till later or handed over to someone else. What’s wrong with that? Nothing, as long as you’ve applied the best possible priorities to the choices that you have made. How sure of that can you be? Well, you need to check just one thing. Is there a fact you’re trying not to face? If so, face it! Then you can start making wiser moves this weekend. Pick up the phone. I’ll give you a reading that could change your life. Call 1-900528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) TAURUS (April 21 — May 21) What if you say something to someone? What if they tease a secret out of you? What if suddenly, they know what nobody else was ever supposed to know? How could this harm you? When would you ever stop regretting your moment of candour? How about, never! There really is nothing to fear now. In the extremely unlikely event that you actually were unwise enough to be indiscreet, you’d still learn something that ultimately benefits you enormously. And somewhere in your life this weekend, there has to be trust!
There’s exceptionally good news in your in-depth forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) GEMINI (May 22 — June 22) Hearts don’t wear smart shoes. Lungs aren’t draped in expensive jewelry. You can’t tell a smart mind from a designer jacket, even if it does have padded shoulders. Our most fundamental functions are humble and invisible. We may preen and pose, play for position and push for power but there’s no true test of any individual’s inner merit. The question, this weekend, is: who are you dealing with? Don’t you already know? If there’s more to discover, you’ll reveal it through the quality of an action not an appearance. I’ve just recorded your indepth forecast. You need to hear it. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) CANCER (June 23 — July 23) We were talking, yesterday, about whether the gods are smiling on you. There are, of course, some pretty big suppositions in such statements. If such deities exist, do they ever actually even smile? What if they also frown? Isn’t it better to have a god with a neutral expression than one who has been upset? OK. Enough. Here’s all you need to know this weekend. You have upset no supernatural entities, nor are you in any danger of doing this. But you can definitely expect a lot of cosmic support and assistance. Give me four minutes and I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) LEO (July 24 — Aug. 23) There’s a moment in Alice Through The Looking Glass where Alice complains of a dry mouth and the Queen hands her a biscuit. Life gives us all such experiences from time to time. How easy is it to accept these with grace and patience? That depends on how thirsty we are feeling. Knowing that there’s water in your future won’t stop you from needing refreshment right now. But it may make it easier to put up with the frustration. No matter what seems wrong, or ridiculous this weekend, that babbling brook is near. There’s deeper insight in your in-depth forecast. Call 1-900528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) VIRGO (Aug. 24 — Sept. 23) Extroverts like attention. Introverts prefer to be ignored. Somewhere in the middle are the rest of us, who neither want applause nor abuse but would happily settle, once in a while, for a little respect. We should stop a moment, as we enter this weekend, to think about the respect you already deserve for recent decisions, bravely made, and generous gestures, rightly executed. If you keep on being so smart, as big-hearted and as intuitively accurate . . . we might have to fly Aretha Franklin over to sing on your behalf! Hear how your life could change for the better soon. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) LIBRA (Sept. 24 — Oct. 23) Why is one person not talking properly to another person? Who has the hidden agenda? And who is hiding their own hidden agenda behind someone else’s not-so-cleverly hidden agenda? That’s the trouble with issues. They’re worse than magic porridge pots for self-replication. If you add just a little accusation to such a sensitive situation, you can make it really foam with futility! But if a breakthrough is what you truly want this weekend, you just have to be willing to see what can be changed! I’ve recorded a special forecast for you. Become inspired. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) SCORPIO (Oct. 24 — Nov. 22) There are many people who think they know you. There are few who really know you. And while we’re tiptoeing round the edge of this sensitive topic, here’s a question. How well do you know yourself? Or do you just think you know where your limits lie and your talents are best applied? Might it be time you replaced a somewhat restricted view of your own potential with an understanding based on greater selfconfidence, vision and imagination? To let out a great light, you’ve only got to shift a small bushel! Need to know more? Listen to your in-depth forecast. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 — Dec.) “What they ought to do is this.” “Why they decided to do that, I will never understand.” “Surely it was obvious that X would never work and the solution has to be Y.” We all hear comments like this from time to time — because we all make them! But they can’t all be correct, can they? Some situations are more complicated than we realize. Some sensitivities are too crucial to ignore. You’re trying your best now to be practical. You’ll be even more successful with that, this weekend, if you resist the temptation to make judgements. You really should hear your in-depth forecast. It’s powerful. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 — Jan. 20) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Pay attention please. We are proud to announce the arrival of something the world has long been waiting for. Here, for your edification and enjoyment comes, “The ANSWER!” Yes. I know. You are so excited can hardly believe it. But don’t just take my word for it. Try it for yourself. Um . . . er . . . well, yes, Okay. I should explain. Future versions of “The Answer” will adapt themselves to the nature of the question. But if you can’t wait, this weekend, you’ll have to find a way to make it fit! Let me tell you how you can make your week really great. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 — Feb. 19) People who often get it wrong tend to have a character trait in common. They are unwilling to concede that perhaps, they have made a mistake. You might think that this helps them become more successful. Temporarily, it may. But sooner or later, misplaced confidence has a way of revealing itself. Whereas the doubtful, the uncertain and the cautious, while they don’t instantly attract quite as many fans and followers, have a better track record when it comes to results! Keep that in mind this weekend. I need to talk to you about what’s in your forecast. (It’s good). Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.) PISCES (Feb. 20 — March 20) “We always knew that he was destined for greatness . . .” That’s what the folk from down the street say when the guy from the block makes it on to the top national TV talent show. Or, “We always thought there was something wrong about them . . .” as it turns out that the other neighbour now stands accused of the crime of the century. In reality, none of us ever truly knows who we’re dealing with, who is on our doorstep or how close we may be to something amazing! But this weekend, your surprises will largely be pleasant. I’ve just been talking about you. Want to hear what I said? Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)