A little bit of yoga, a lot of conversation
Downward dog on Georgian Bay a precious ritual for friends
On a rocky Georgian Bay island dotted with tiger lilies and windswept pines, the group of eight gathers on a cottage deck, as they’ve done for almost two decades. Their twice-a-week summer ritual remains the same: an hour of yoga, a cold drink and conversation that ranges from the practical — finicky water pumps and bear sightings — to the personal, such as family concerns and health worries. These women, all in their mid to late 50s, know each other so well, they claim they can tell from each other’s yoga postures who has a heavy heart and needs to talk.
They travel by boat for their regular yoga-and-yak on the deck, with its expansive view of Whalesback Channel sparkling in the sun. “It’s spiritual, not in a religious sense, but it’s about the wind, the rocks, the water and being together,” explains Nancy Bennett. “We have a shared history and a shared love of Georgian Bay, especially this Cognashene area, that holds us together.”
They all live in Toronto or surrounding areas, but work and family keep them busy and mostly apart. Come May, the emails start flying, about planning parties and yoga dates. “We pick up where we left off the summer before,” says Bennett.
The summer days together are precious. The women — who work as teachers, executives, land developer, bookkeeper and volunteer — save up vacation time or take the summer off to be here.
“Summer is short. We don’t wait for tomorrow. We embrace today.” GALE HARILD HOSTS GET-TOGETHERS ON HER DECK
“Summer is short,” says Gale Harild, whose cottage deck is the meeting place.
“We don’t wait for tomorrow. We embrace today.”
The rugged geography and distances — about a 15-minute boat ride to the mainland marina — have fostered community spirit. “Because you’re on islands, you have to make the effort to connect,” explains Mary Ann Sayers.
Their husbands are also friends, as are their children, now mostly 20somethings.
Those connections, as well as a love of the landscape, keep them rooted to their rocky islands. “We’d sell our houses, not our cottages,” says Ruth Davis.
Four of these women grew up here, whiling away childhood summers on nearby islands. Harild, three years older than Bennett, taught the younger girl how to swim and served as a mentor. Harild hung out with a boy from a neighbouring cottage, a boy Bennett adored from afar — and later married.
As young mothers with their own cottages, they reconnected through the children’s recreation program sponsored by the Cognashene Cottagers’ Association, the same program they attended with their mothers. While the children play and swim, the mothers get to know each other. About 400 families currently belong to the association, says Harild. Harild ran the program when her three daughters were young, and then handed over the reins to Bennett, who managed it while her twins, a boy and a girl, took part.
When the group got together years ago, their conversations tended to be kid-centered but evolved with time and phases of life. “We’ve celebrated a lot of joys together and supported each other in sorrows,” says Harild, who recently retired as an educational administrator.
Last summer, Bennett, a special education assistant, confided to the women about some health concerns and they encouraged her to get checked.
“I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer on a Monday and shared the news with my family,” says Bennett, tearing up. “Then I came up here on Tuesday. It’s where I needed to be. I got together with Gale, Ruth and Joy, and I told them.
“It was like one big hug,” continues Bennett. “I never felt alone in this.”
At a particularly bleak point during treatment in February, she got an email from Harild with a photo of the view from the yoga deck: the rocks, pines and cedars, dazzling water and giant blue sky. It came with the message, you’ll be back here. Summer will come again. “I’d pull up that photo and look at it periodically,” says Bennett, who would think “‘Yes, I’ll be back up.’” And here she is, finished with treatment and feeling fine, sitting on the yoga deck with her friends, nothing but blue sky above. Harild’s daughter, Jenna, 27, has been listening to the women talk about their connections, about Cognashene. It’s the same for her generation, she explains, ticking off the names of the women’s sons and daughters with whom she grew up and remains close.
“We may be summer friends,” says Jenna, “but we’re lifelong friends.” Our summer connections series features groups that have a summer tradition that allows them to reconnect. It runs every Thursday.