YOUR STARS

The planets and signs in astrology are best thought of as words with several meanings. The art of an astrologer is to decipher the code, taking clues from where the planets are and which angles they form to each other. Jupiter, for example, may suggest jollity or justice depending on the cosmic context. It often also suggests “amplification” or “increase.” The planet Uranus is associated with innovation and surprise. When these two planets are in an alignment, we might interpret this as “a big surprise” or a “rising trend of change.” The two are in alignment now. More tomorrow.

Calls to the numbers on this page cost $1.99/minute and last approximately four minutes. Calls are administered by cainer.com.

ARIES (March 21 — April 20)

Some people say love is the answer. But to some extent, surely, that must depend on what the question is. And anyway, what are you supposed to do if you aren’t in a relationship or there is no romance in your life? “Ah,” say the love contingent, “we don’t mean that kind of love.” We’re talking about the openhearted goodwill that all human beings can feel for each other - and for the whole of creation - without strings attached. That sounds good, doesn’t it? It could yet prove to be your answer today. Discover how you can make this week work for you. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

TAURUS (April 21 — May 21)

Look at your calendar or your diary. When does it run out? Is there any reason to assume that when this happens time will stop? And what about the individual days? If there aren’t any entries or appointments, should that be seen as a suggestion that those particular dates will therefore be empty and featureless? Life has a way of filling up all our gaps and spaces and it also usually takes us further than we ever expect to be able to go. Shortly, if it hasn’t begun to do so already, life will start sweetly proving that point to you. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Call

1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

GEMINI (May 22 — June 22)

When people find themselves trying to drop habits or break old ingrained behaviour patterns, they don’t really make much progress if they keep telling themselves (and all their friends) that they have been forced into this choice due to pressure of circumstance. Whenever we feel as though we are being deprived of a pleasure, we inevitably resent this, even if inwardly we know that it is all for our own good. Decisions made in the spirit of positive inspiration are invariably easier to keep to. Just keep that in mind today. Want a brighter future? Call your in-depth forecast: 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

CANCER (June 23 — July 23)

We all like making friends. And all but perhaps the most perverse dislike making enemies. But human nature is fickle. Sometimes, folk fall out with one another for no obvious reason. A stranger, watching two individuals entering into a dispute, may not be able to understand why on earth their difference of opinion has become so bitter. But then, despite what scientists would love to believe, not every process on this planet is logically explicable. What can’t be understood, for now at least, may just have to be accepted. Find out why your outlook is so special? Pick up the phone. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

LEO (July 24 — Aug. 23)

When we stop and look at the world, it often seems easy to see what all the problems are and how so many of them could be fixed. You feel this way. I feel this way. So many other people we know feel this way too. So why are there still problems? It can only be for one reason. Each of us must have a different idea of what the ultimate “ideal solution” must be! If only we could achieve a little more agreement on this topic, the planet might be a very different place. At least in one key respect now, such agreement is possible. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

VIRGO (Aug. 24 — Sept. 23)

Most people, most of the time, tell the truth. There are very few deliberate and habitual liars. But even amongst the scrupulously honest, there are many whose version of the truth is skewed by a belief of some kind. It requires almost superhuman self-awareness to recognise exactly how or where you may be deceiving yourself. Some allowance must now be made for a narrative that supports a degree of wishful thinking. Nobody is to blame for inadvertently perpetrating a myth but you can now gain greatly from seeing beyond it. Unsure about what to do? I can help. Give me a call: 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

LIBRA (Sept. 24 — Oct. 23)

What did people do before television? How did we cope before mobile phones and search engines? Even those who are old enough to remember can’t quite be sure. Once a paradigm shifts, we shift with it. We have no way of picturing the past in the proper perspective. That may be one reason history fails to teach us what it should. We just can’t relate to what must have seemed important to people back then. Yet to make sense of what you are discovering now, you must strive for a more imaginative understanding. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 — Nov. 22)

Once, games were for children. Adults, at best, played sedate rounds of cards. But then came phones and apps. And now almost everyone, everywhere, drags their fingers over pieces of glass, shooting monsters, escaping from mazes or running through imaginary landscapes. Our lives may be full of games. But life itself is surely not a game. There is only one rule that you consider yourself to be bound by today. You must find a way to make a potentially tense situation more enjoyable. That’s a game you can win! Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 — Dec. 21)

Murphy’s Law insists that, “If anything can go wrong, it will.” Sods Law informs us that when it does go wrong, it will probably go wrong in the most annoying way. And by these somewhat depressing laws, too many of us lead our lives. So, under the authority vested in me by the current right angle between Jupiter and Uranus, I would like to declare and define “Cainer’s Law.” It goes like this. “Whatever gloomy and seemingly irrefutable law you think you are being bound by, you aren’t!” For you, that law outweighs all others today. to make? Let me help you. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 — Jan. 20)

Few people eagerly, actively, look forward to visiting their dentist. So what should an astrologer say about the kind of day that might contain such an experience? Is it a bad day, because it is likely to bring a few moments of discomfort? Is it a good day, because it is going to provide you with much-needed treatment from which you can only benefit? There is a sense in which your current astrological advantage presents us with just such an analogous dilemma. What’s happening is what’s needed. And it won’t be as bad as you may fear! Your four-minute forecast could change everything. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 — Feb. 19)

The moon is in your sign and it is full. It was nearly full last night. It will be fully full tonight. By tomorrow night, it will be slightly past full. These distinctions may sound trivial but if you happen to be a werewolf or a vampire, they are pretty significant. Indeed, they are relevant even to those of us who are entirely without ghoulish or ghostly affiliations. So we all feel the pull of the full moon to some extent, and those of us in whose sign it is taking place, feel it all the more strongly. Try not to do too much baying — and avoid black velvet capes. For a four-minute forecast at a vital time in your life. Call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)

PISCES (Feb. 20 — March 20)

Some street performers can manage to make it look as if they are sitting very still and levitating. It is an act that an accomplished illusionist can perform with aplomb. Yet we hear tell in stories and legends, of rare individuals who have actually managed to render themselves weightless, by adhering to strict spiritual and meditative disciplines. Should they also be dismissed as tricksters? Not everything in life that seems unbelievable is actually untrue. Be open to an inspiring, even amazing, discovery today. potential for positive change, call 1-900-528-8880. (Cell # 5486.)