> POP GOES THE WEEK
Jennifer Aniston says she once had a “love affair with mayonnaise and white bread sandwiches” I don’t get it. I’ve always thought of Vince Vaughn as slightly curdled milk and Gerard Butler as a hamburger left to shrivel under a heating lamp.
This week in Katy Perry Making Bad Decisions 1) Katy is reportedly preparing to incorporate some sort of Taylor Swift dis into her Super Bowl performance. 2) Twice-ex John Mayer had a “sleepover” at her house. 3) Now that I think about it, he is probably Jennifer Aniston’s white bread.
Bryan Singer names his new baby son Dashiell Julius William Clunie-Singer That will come in handy when he becomes a crime-novelist emperor who loves to repeatedly spell his last name and asking to be called Billy.
Cameron Diaz made the Razzie shortlist for both worst actress and worst supporting actress and married Benji Madden after eight months of dating "I have to up my game," said Katy Perry.
Now that Bruce Jenner is divorced from Kris, he and his sons may be doing a reality show of their own It will be about them trying to pretend that the last 23 year didn’t happen. And golfing.
Angelina Jolie was seen buying light sabers and a dinosaur pillow at a Las Vegas toy shop Brad Pitt is very excited. Jedino date nights are his favourite.
Charlie Sheen has some sort of quarrel with Kim Kardashian and calls her a "pox on entertainment" Bruce Jenner is wondering if Charlie Sheen likes golfing.
Michael Jackson’s 17-year-old son Prince, who receives a $66,000 monthly allowance, is observed hanging out with Justin Bieber In related news, somewhere in the world someone just threw gasoline on a fire and bought 300 puppies.
Nicholas Sparks and his wife Cathy split up after 25 years of marriage We’re looking forward to his next novel, Love is an Enormous Lie Even if You’re White and Good-looking and Kissing in the Rain for no Good Reason.
Jennifer Lopez, who took her ex Marc Anthony’s real last name, Muniz, when they married, is legally Jennifer Lopez again Whatever, J-Mu.
Even Sting can’t save his musical The Last Ship, which will close in two weeks Don’t worry. He’ll be OK and will spend his time working on Sour Lute: A Collection of Musical Scowls.
Celebrity Math Question: If Mariah Carey stands to make more than $30 million for her Las Vegas residency and Zoe Saldana names her two brand-new babies Cy and Bowie, why is Picasso’s granddaughter selling seven of the painter’s works for $290 million? Answer: Because Meghan Trainor signed some 3,600 copies of her debut CD and Marilyn Monroe was announced as the new face of Max Factor despite having been dead for 53 years and most certainly no longer being in possession of a face.