A remake haunted by much better original
If not for the talents of Sam Rockwell and Rosemary DeWitt, Gil Kenan’s 2015 retooling of 1982 paranormal thriller Poltergeist wouldn’t stand a ghost of a chance.
As laid-back, recently downsized dad Eric Bowen and frustrated writer-wife Amy Bowen, they’re credible and often effortlessly funny as a couple reluctantly relocating to costsaving suburbia, with Hamilton standing in for middle America.
They have three kids in tow, sullen teen Kendra (Saxon Sharbino), nervous middle boy Griffin (Kyle Catlett) and cutie pie Maddie (Kennedi Clements), the 6-year-old who is kidnapped by vengeful dead people who drag her to the “other side” via the TV set to right a buried wrong.
With a whole world of technology birthed since the infinitely better — and far scarier — 1982 original, a tech update would seem the only logical reason for a reboot.
But the kid is still trapped in the tube, just like 30 years ago.
OK, so it’s a flat-screen, but this is progress?
Steven Spielberg’s original story isn’t much changed, as the family moves in and finds increasingly strange goings-on in their home.
In some cases, the dialogue is the same, although the delivery is picked up to match the quickened pace of the remake, which rushes to get everything into 93 minutes.
There are some jumps but few legitimate scares, unlike director Tobe Hooper’s original, which, although similarly bloodless, still stands as one of the scariest movies ever made.
The Bowens approach paranormal expert Brooke Powell (Jane Adams) and her team for help. She brings in a bigger gun with reality show ghost- buster Carrigan Burke, a medium with a message. He signs off each show with “this house is clean,” making us miss helium-voiced actress Zelda Rubinstein as spirit tamer Tangina Barrons.
In fact we miss a lot in Kenan’s version, disappointed that the director behind the 2006 animation Monster House wouldn’t have a better handle on telling a haunting tale.
The spirits may have been willing with Poltergeist but the movie is weak.