Seeing double — 100 times over
Twins and their parents enjoy annual picnic in High Park for parents of multiple births
Zara Gibbs, pink hat fluttering in the wind, wraps her arms around her 4-year-old identical twin sister, Kayla, and gives her an enthusiastic squeeze.
“Hugs. Hugs,” she says brightly, when asked what the absolute best thing about being a twin is.
“They are really best friends; they truly love doing everything together,” says their mom, Monica.
The downside of being a twin is that they often want the same thing. Minutes earlier, organizers of the Toronto Parents of Multiple Births Association annual picnic in High Park had tried to give the two girls different coloured loot bags, one pink, the other purple. That’s a twin no-no. At least in the Gibbs family. Two pink bags eventually prevented a dual meltdown.
Visitors to High Park on Saturday could be forgiven if they thought they were seeing double. More than a hundred sets of multiples and their parents came to the park for the event organized by the TPMBA. The organization, the largest of its kind in Canada, was founded in 1973 to offer support to parents of multiple births in the GTA. The picnic has been a tradition for more than a decade.
“When I made it to my first picnic, it was really an eye-opening experience, because I really felt that I wasn’t alone in this,” says Camille Kloppenberg, the president of the association, who has 3-year-old twin girls Grace and Vivienne.
When parents-to-be first hear they will be having a multiple birth — and after the initial euphoria wears off — there is often one overarching emotion: Fear.
“The first question you ask is, how the heck am I going to handle this?” says Kloppenberg. “Looking after one child is hard enough and then sudden- ly you have double the responsibility.”
The closest most will get to experience having multiple kids may be watching TLC’s Kate Plus 8. But Kloppenberg says being something of a drill sergeant (like Kate Gosselin in the reality show) pays off if you are to have a life. “You have to schedule everything, or else you will get stuck at home. Routine is everything, from feeding to sleep time.”
Kloppenberg’s nickname at home? That would be Mommy Militant.
Paul and Sherri Snaith have 5-yearold twin boys Bryce and William. They say the picnic is something of a safe zone to meet other parents who understand what it means to be parents of multiples.
“The most annoying thing (people) ask first is, ‘are they twins?’ And it’s an understandable question, but sometimes you can get tired of it,” says Sherri.
The second question is usually if the twins are by natural birth, which is none of their business, she adds.
Jaye Waggoner and Rob Watson, parents of fraternal twins Truman and Mazie, can compile a book on what not to say.
The most common question they get for their 3-year-old twins is whether the brother and sister are identical. “I usually mention that one has a penis and the other doesn’t,” says Watson. “It really is a strange question.”
Pete, the father of Grace and Vivienne, says he always gets comments such as, “I can’t imagine having two kids at once.” On the other hand, he says, “I couldn’t imagine doing this a second time.”
Tomy and Maggie Poon, parents of 2-year-old Jayden and Lucas, say there’s something to be said for getting the “sleepless nights” out of the way all at once. But because there is no age difference between the two, the elder brother won’t be able to watch out for the younger brother as they get older, says Tomy.
“At this point, you really can’t have a plan — they have their own minds and you just have to go with it,” says Maggie. “It can be exhausting.”
“The best thing is, we get through it, because we don’t know better,” Pete says, smiling.