Marnie and Bob
Marnie is a 50-ish retired teacher who lives in midtown. She says, “Many people think I’m10 years younger than I am — and they’re not on the payroll, ha!”
She is “petite and fit” and says “I take excellent care of myself through dance and exercise.” Marnie is often told that she has “a great smile” and that she is stylish.
Marnie says, “I love to read — newspapers, magazines, fiction. I love all kinds of music. I love to visit with friends, travel, hike, dine out and go to the movies.”
She says, “I love a challenge and to try new things. I find that as I get older, I want to have more fun.” Marnie has been divorced for 10 years and has two grown children.
Amutual friend set me up with Bob. We spoke on the phone a few times, and I was very taken with his accent — my first boyfriend grew up in England, and I loved listening to him speak. To this day, I am a pushover for any man with an accent. Bob had just moved to Toronto, and our mutual friend, who worked with Bob, had described him as tall, attractive and hard-working. A single man with a solid job! It seemed promising. I was looking forward to our dinner date.
The excitement was short-lived: Bob — who was as attractive as advertised — arrived at my apartment building more than a half-hour late. I was confused, as he’s a professional man in his 50s. I asked him if he had misunderstood the agreed-upon pickup time. He said he didn’t, but also didn’t apologize or explain himself.
“OK,” I told myself. “Try to stay positive!” It has proven to be quite a challenge finding single, educated, employed, good-looking men, who are also emotionally available, in this city. I have this discussion on a regular basis with a whole bunch of my single girlfriends.
We hadn’t made a plan beyond dinner, so we sat on the sofa to decide where to go. With considerable excitement, Bob asked me if I enjoyed sushi. “Not really,” I told him. I’m very adventurous, but I just don’t enjoy the texture of raw fish. We continued to debate where to go, what to eat, and the likely parking scenario at various restaurants in my neighbourhood and nearby. Bob didn’t want to go downtown, as parking would be scarce. I suggested several restaurants closer to my home, but he found fault with each: Too loud! Too far! Too busy!
After approximately 15 minutes, Bob said “Listen, I know a great spot that has the best sushi you’ve ever tasted.” Famished, and knowing that I was already annoyed and likely to become more so if we continued this debate, I gave up and agreed.
Parking downtown was, indeed, a hassle, and Bob did not want to pay for it. Then, the wait to be seated and served at the busy sushi restaurant — where we didn’t have a reservation, of course — was approximately 45 minutes. Bob proceeded to talk about his childhood, education, trav- els and personal interests.
He enjoyed talking about himself . . . a lot. It became clear that he wasn’t going to ask a single question about me.
I managed to pry myself away from the conversation and escaped to the sidewalk for a cigarette. I stood outside, irritated and puffing away. Another woman joined me on the sidewalk, and we ended up chatting; I shared some of the details of my evening. She then explained her general rule: “Always stick with drinks or coffee on a first date.” Bracing myself, I returned to the table. It was more of the same.
In the car on the way home, I decided to subtly point out to Bob what had been missing on our date, and asked, “Are you at all interested in what I do all day? I have a pretty busy life with lots of interests.” Silence ensued. No questions. Nothing.
We arrived in front of my apartment building. I quickly thanked him and got out, not daring to look back.
The next day, Bob called to say it was the best first date he’d ever had. He continued, “Are you free next Saturday?” I had to pass. Marnie rates her date (out of10):1 The Dating Diaries are readers’ accounts of their best, worst and weirdest dates as-told-to the Star. Want to be a dating diarist? Email datingdiariescontact@gmail.com.
It has proven to be quite a challenge finding single, educated, employed, good-looking men in this city