Why are companies still buying what celebrities are selling?
The ‘Subway Guy’ reminds us yet again why endorsements by stars aren’t worth the risk
You know what someone should invent?
A machine that can detect future scandals. This way a company in search of a celebrity endorsement could hook up psychic electrodes and pre-cog sensors to a potential pitch-person and scan for possible snafus: “We really want you to be the new face of our luxury suitcase. But according to this Disgrace Forecaster 9000, you’re going to get busted for human smuggling in 2017. And that can’t be good for suitcase sales.”
Of course, since we still don’t have teleportation chambers or climate-controlled underwear, the Disgrace Forecaster 9000 seems far off.
So here’s a wild idea: maybe corporations should halt all celebrity endorsements now that about 80 per cent of them seem to get zapped and killed prematurely by bad news.
Just look at this bizarre Jared Fogle story this week. No, the “Subway Guy” didn’t start out as a “celebrity” when he did his first commercial in 2000. But 15 years and 3,000 ads later, Fogle has a nameplate at the dining table of pseudofame.
He makes public appearances. He signs autographs. He gives talks. Not only did he morph into the face of Subway, he became the body.
The image of Fogle holding an old pair of his jeans — denim as wide as a schooner mast — got seared into pop culture. So did his odd tale of shrinking from 425 to 245 pounds with a bit of exercise and a lot of Subway sandwiches. It was mesmerizing and counterintuitive, like hearing someone say they beat cancer by chain smoking.
Fogle was not arrested this week nor was he charged with a crime.
Still, the image of FBI agents buzzing around his home on Tuesday, carting away computer equipment, trampled our memory of the nerdy bloke clutching those giant trousers.
That a former staffer with Fogle’s foundation was charged two months ago with possessing and producing child pornography only contaminates the mental picture even more.
This is why Subway “suspended” its relationship with Fogle in less time than it takes to prepare a Chicken Pizziola Melt. You can’t have customers queue up for a Cold Cut Combo and then break into a cold sweat wondering, rightly or wrongly, if the smiling cardboard cut-out under the menu board is a pedophile.
That’s a negative association no company needs. Yet here we are in 2015 and the marketing gurus keep courting PR disasters by placing an unhealthy amount of faith in the dubious power of celebrities to move products and bolster brands.
Then when these high-priced ambassadors say or do something outrageous, those same companies are forced into damage control. Since announcing his candidacy for U.S. president, Donald Trump’s egregious comments have cost him deals with Macy’s, Univision, NBC, ESPN and NASCAR. Amazingly, none of those businesses needed a Disgrace Forecaster 9000 to predict the mouthy tycoon would eventually bring unwanted shame upon their enterprises.
They could have just glanced at his social media musings.
Speaking of which, disgraced celebrity chef Paula Deen was back in headlines this week after an old photo, in which her son appears in brown makeup, was posted on her Twitter account. It was a stark reminder of Deen’s spectacular fall from grace in 2013, when racial slurs cost her deals with Walmart, Target, Home Depot and Sears.
Yet here we are in 2015 and the marketing gurus keep courting PR disasters by faith in the dubious power of celebrities
And this is the most dangerous part of celebrity endorsements today: those negative associations can become radioactive. They have half-lives. They can linger in public consciousness for months or even years.
You know how many people still think of Jell-O pudding when they see Bill Cosby? Given the grim revelation this week — in a 2005 deposition, he admitted to obtaining drugs to give to young women before sex — how many people are thinking about a product that doesn’t even exist . . . Jell-O Quaaludes?
A short list of celebrities who lost endorsement deals now includes Kate Moss, Tiger Woods, Madonna, Michael Vick, Lil Wayne, Gilbert Gottfried, Lance Armstrong, Whoopi Goldberg, Charlie Sheen, Charlize Theron and Chris Brown.
Now ask yourself: Did you ever buy anything because they were doing the hawking?
Then go one step further: Have you ever bought anything because of a celebrity endorsement? vmenon@thestar.ca