Enrolling Tory in Kanye 101
With Yeezy coming to town, the Star’s Ben Rayner offers the mayor a crash course on Sunday’s Pan Am closers
Alright, Mr. Mayor, take a seat.
You may know a lot about hybrid options for the Gardiner Expressway. But I know music. And believe me, you could use my help. When it was announced last week that Kanye West would headline the Pan Am Games closing ceremony, John Tory got a rough ride for calling the rapper from Chicago “a proud product of our music industry here.”
Hey, it happens. We all make mistakes, and Tory was big enough to shrug it off. “That’s fine,” he told reporters. “You can’t know everything.”
This is true. You can’t know everything.
Nevertheless, it did occur to us at the Star that, with the ceremony fast bearing down on us this Sunday, Tory could stand to know a little bit more about the musicians playing the event that’s to be held in his city, but watched throughout the Americas.
We wouldn’t want our mayor to publicly embarrass himself again, after all.
And so it was that this writer found himself in Tory’s office at city hall Thursday, giving our mayor a briefing on the three players who’ll take the stage at Rogers Centre on Sunday: West, Miami rapper Pitbull and singer/songwriter Serena Ryder, who hails from Millbrook, Ont., and is therefore an actual Canadian.
The mayor was eager to learn, soaking up a few details about each musician that will help him bluff his way through casual cocktail-party conversation and, should the occasion arise, engage in a brief conversation with Kanye, Pitbull or Serena whilst glad-handing his way around the Pan Am ceremony on the weekend.
On the list: West has an ego that desperately needs feeding at all times; Pitbull raps mostly in gibberish; Ryder’s breakthrough hit was called “Stompa,” not “Stomper.”
Tory proved a quick study. I feel confident in saying that when I walked out of his office there wasn’t a doubt in the mayor’s mind as to who on the performers list was Canadian and who wasn’t.
Like a duck to water, Tory also took to Rayner’s first rule of speaking confidently about music: feign authority.
Tory was a good sport in the wake of Kanye-gate the day after his screw-up when he posted to the web a video of himself on the subway bopping along to West’s single “Stronger.” And he proved himself a very good sport Thursday by actually allowing us to videotape our exchange. Check it out at thestar.com Friday afternoon.
And, yes, I am available for further consulting work. Any music illiterates who need me, reach out. I don’t judge. I’m just here to help.