Don’t be afraid to tell him what pleases you in bed

I’ve been dating a wonderful guy for over a year. We moved in together recently and everything’s still great.

He’s fun, respectful and we have many interests in common.

The issue for me is sex. We don’t have the same sexual “style.” I like someone a bit more aggressive, who takes control and creates excitement. He’s a little more passive in the bedroom.

I’ve brought it up a few times, but nothing has really changed. I can count on one hand the number of orgasms I’ve had in the last year.

He orgasms nearly every time. It’s starting to make me feel disconnected from him.

I’ve been in relationships where the sex was great but everything else was awful, so I know that sex isn’t everything. However, I’m in my mid-30s and want this to be “the one.”

Am I going to regret it in the longterm? Wanting More

You’ll regret it if you just keep talking and not teaching.

Buy a sex toy that works for you and show him the sexual release that you want to feel, just as he enjoys his own.

Get a copy of the ancient Hindu text, the Kama Sutra, considered the bible of human sexual behaviour, and look at it together.

Text and talk to him suggestively during the day (short of sending nude selfies to him at work) to build anticipation for intimacy.

Do NOT use words like “aggressive” versus “passive.” They’re judgmental sounding rather than encouraging.

(One concern: If it’s his personality that you find too passive in other areas as well, that can be disappointing in more areas than just sex).

His past experience may be more limited or more conservative than yours. But if he also wants this relationship to be “the one,” he should be willing to please you as much as you please him. I’m in my early-20s and have been invited to a classmate’s wedding. We’re both in the same graduate studies program, and were drawn together by mutual friends.

But neither of us interact outside of school and/or the larger group.

I was surprised when she invited me to her wedding. But I’m happy to go and support her.

However, I don’t know what’s expected. The invitation to the reception and religious ceremony contains a note at the bottom: “dinner to follow.” Am I invited to dinner as well? Also, a mutual friend gave me the link to a wedding registry.

I’ve heard different gift amounts from people, from $50-$200. If I can’t afford the amount (full-time student with a part-time job), do I gracefully decline?

Even if I don’t go I’ll send a small gift to convey good wishes, but is there a protocol around that? Wedding Guest Newbie

She’s generously invited you (at a cost to her or her family of at least $150 per person, with dinner included), because you’re part of this friendship group. She didn’t want to leave you out. You’re invited to everything listed. She knows that you’re a student, not a high earner.

Check whether there’s a group gift being planned by the mutual friends and if the sum discussed is affordable for you.

If not, $50-$100 would be an appropriate range, no matter what others are spending. It’s the meaning of the gift that matters.

Wedding protocol calls for graciously accepting, giving a gift that you’re comfortable buying, enjoying the event and showing your support for her on her special day.