As summer sizzles in the city, is it my right to bare arms?
Covering up those guns seems to be new consensus, regardless of how fit you are
In the heat of summer, women of a certain age are wondering whether it’s OK to abandon sleeves and let their upper appendages just hang out. Or is concealed carry the only option?
Does it matter how toned you are? Or is crepe-paper skin even on decent biceps enough to make you “disgusting,” as one woman put it? And the older you get, the bigger the quandary.
Michelle Obama was accused of illegal bare arms possession back in 2009 — and she’s (almost) as toned as it gets.
The issue came into focus for me recently at an informal brunch on a very hot day. I was in a sleeveless top, but with a few (young) exceptions, other bare arms were barely to be seen.
I felt not just alone but confused. I later consulted an often-sleeveless friend who said she was similarly surprised to see that “cover up” seemed to be the new consensus regardless of the heat. “I guess I didn’t get the memo,” she said.
Women who weren’t born yesterday remember the hard work of overturning the kind of rules that forced us into girdles so our butts wouldn’t bounce. For us, being told to hold something in, cover up or hide out has definite negative connotations. But it’s not that simple. Another old friend was giving me advice about lipstick recently (essentially: “wear some”). A young friend was appalled: “Isn’t she a feminist?”
Yes. She was a founding writer of Ms. magazine and edited a book of feminist humour and satire. She was also a fashion model and is still my go-to makeup adviser.
None of this should be a surprise. Feminists want to look good, too. But for some people, it’s hard to get beyond binary. You’re either against lipstick (and women as sex objects), or for it.
Feminism, to us, was always about the right to make the choice. Heels or Birkenstocks, leggings or sweats, stay-at-home-mom or corporate exec. Often, the answer was “all of the above” though not necessarily all at the same time.
Are bare arms one of those feminist dilemmas? Or is it more a matter of simple vanity versus sweltering?
One woman with ample wrinkles but show-off biceps told me I could be both kinds of cool as long as I had the right attitude. If I was confident enough, bare arms would be fine.
“What’s your attitude?” she asked. I wasn’t sure.
A therapist told me that women worried about aging skin should do what she did: have a face lift.
“Sure,” I said, “that fixes your face, but what about your neck, your arms?”
“Cover up,” she said. She couldn’t have been more than 50. Cover up for the rest of your life? That seems unacceptable.
Arms aren’t the only conundrum. As the old saying says, age can make you feel you have to choose between your face or your figure. (Fat can plump up wrinkles.)
If you choose your figure, you trade your belly and elastic waists (and smoother skin) for a life without carbs or wine. On that one, at least, I’m clear. Fat chance! It’d take a lot more than vanity to make me give up potatoes, much less Pinot Noir.
But on the matter of arms, the jury (and sometime the arms) is still out.