Slippery pond rules

It reads like a parody — bureaucratic planning taken to the point of absurdity. And yet it’s all too real, courtesy of Toronto city hall.

The issue is whether to permit skating on Grenadier Pond, where city-sanctioned skating was allowed until 2001 and where a tradition of Torontonians taking to the ice, sometimes by the hundred, dates back to Victorian times.

Asked what it would take to restore skating here, staff produced a staggering estimate of $192,000 to cover initial capital costs plus $123,000 in yearly operating expenses. It would be ludicrous to spend that much just to let people skate on a pond. But the real comedy is where the money would go.

According to staff, allowing winter fun on Grenadier Pond would require the services of an ice engineer and ice surveyor to analyze and monitor the surface. (Apparently, such people don’t come cheap.) They’d have to check the pond daily.

Only when ice reached a thickness of 30 centimetres (generally enough to support a light truck) would the surface be deemed safe.

Until then, staff doing the ice checks would be required to wear flotation suits. Venturing onto the pond in pairs, they would also need to be tied to “a three-quarter ton (or greater) vehicle which must be parked on a dry, ice-free surface.” The death-defying duo would be equipped with an ice auger and a two-way radio used to communicate with a mandatory third staff member staying at the edge of the pond and “maintaining visual contact.”

It’s estimated that ice of requisite thickness would be available for only seven to 10 days each winter. And to make proper use of that the city would have to invest in a new Zamboni, a snow blower, submersible pumps for flooding the surface, construction of a storage building to hold all this stuff, safety lighting, an access walk, washroom facilities and office space for staff.

The report also notes the area around Grenadier Pond has “high reptile diversity,” including species such as the snapping turtle, Midland turtle and Blandings turtle. So it’s important to limit shoreline access for skaters with restrictions that would require “monitoring by staff and wildlife experts.”

All this wasn’t much of a worry in years gone by, when the surface of Grenadier Pond was thronged with skaters — and not one wearing a flotation suit.

The city’s main concern is the possibility of a lawsuit should someone come to harm on the ice. The absurd lengths deemed necessary to permit skating seem designed to shut down such an option instead of finding a way to let the public on the pond. That’s a shame. Outdoor skating enthusiasts should be allowed on Grenadier Pond with a minimum of fuss, as in past decades, provided it’s clear that they venture out at their own risk.

City hall’s absurd requirements for ice skating at Grenadier Pond seems the stuff of parody