Five types of women you meet online
After checking out dozens of profiles of middle-aged men on the popular online dating website Match.com, I was sure they were having the time of their lives — reliving the glory days. But after speaking with many of these men, I realize my opinion may be misguided. The online dating phenomenon can be equally challenging for both sexes. Men go through the same anticipation, awkward moments and let-downs in their plight to find someone special.
It was amusing to hear them say how aggressive women are on online dating sites, and how shocked they were at the amount of attention they got when they first joined Match.com. For the first five days after joining the site, new members are tagged with “New to Match” labels posted under their profile photos. Many new members say the messages, winks and favourites came at them non- stop. When Kevin, a 50-year-old sales rep from Burlington, first posted his profile, he said it was crazy. “I could have had a date every night of the week.”
And Gary, 48, an art director from the GTA, admits there were times he was dating two or three women at the same time — not something he had done before. Five years ago Gary fell in love with a woman he’d met online, but after four years together the relationship ended. Now he’s back online hoping lightning will strike again. While Gary and Kevin continue their online search for that special someone, for our amusement, they were willing to have fun categorizing the types of women they’ve interacted with online.
Needy and untrusting
While these are two different personality traits, they often come in one package. This woman wants to find someone. . . anyone. Once she connects with you online, she calls, texts and sends emails from sunrise to sunset. She is ready to date and jumps in with both feet. Needy gets intimate with you on the first date, and within no time she tells you you’re the one — she’s ready to commit. She has a timeline when the two of you should move in together and when you will be married. Needy can’t be away from you. The relationship moves so quickly your head spins. You have no clue how to let her down easily.
Sometimes Needy can be untrusting. She may have coped with infidelity in her marriage and this means trouble for you. She questions where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing EVERY DAY. After the first few dates, Untrusting mentions that your profile is still online.
She logs onto the website each morning and stalks your online activity throughout the day. It comes to a head when she logs onto the site at home after your date and your profile indicates you are on Match.com, too. Note: if you open and read an email message from Match.com, your profile status indicates you’re online even if you haven’t logged in.
Out for a good time; just look at my rockin’ bod
Again, two traits, one package. This online dater is out to have fun. She likes to party, wants to dance and may drink a little too much alcohol. Out for a good time lets you pick up the bill for dinner and may forget to buy you a drink later at the bar. She’ll probably repeat this scenario next week with another guy she meets online. There are endless opportunities for men to treat this lady to a good time. If she likes you, maybe you’ll get to share an intimate night.
Just look at my rockin’ bod may not have made the cover of Fitness magazine but she has found another outlet to showcase her flat stomach, toned legs and double Ds. This online dater is hot and she wants every guy on the site to know it. She posts lots of photos of herself in promiscuous poses wearing her itsy-bitsy teenyweeny. . . OK, you get it. She works out daily to maintain her bodacious figure and her husband probably didn’t give her the attention she needed. She is hungry to attract as many men as humanly possible. Her photos scream. . . “Ta-da!”
Who’s that girl in the photo then?
If only I had a quarter for every time I heard this story. It appears that not all women are forthcoming. Some try to get away with posting photos from their younger days. These women have not accepted the few extra pounds they’ve gained in the mid-section or the wrinkles around their eyes. In the photo description box, they put 2015 instead of 2005 and if questioned blame it on a typo.
One guy I spoke with said it was disappointing to have a picture in his mind of the woman he was expecting to show up for the date and then have someone unrecognizable sit down across from him. Nick from Oakville told me he communicated with a woman for more than a week.
When they met for the date, she was not the woman in the photo. And when he questioned her about it, she called him shallow for only focusing on the physical and not how well they got along on the phone the past week. Needless to say that was their first and last date.
Not ready for the dating scene
This person shouldn’t be on an online dating website. She just isn’t ready. Most women who fall into this category are newly single after longterm marriages. She may have felt unappreciated and grew distant from her husband and took years to leave the marriage. While she may crave attention and affection, she’s not ready for a relationship — be it an intimate brief encounter or a lasting affair. Here are the signs that she’s not ready:
She seems to like you and appears to be enjoying the date until you walk to her car and try to close the date with a kiss. She pulls away from the hug, and you realize there’ll be no action tonight. She knows kissing quickly leads to greater intimacy and she’s not ready.
It takes time to get close to this personality type, so if you’re looking for a quick hook-up, this is not the woman for you. According to Gary, most of the women he’s met online were ready for intimacy within a few dates. He says, when there is a mutual attraction, intimacy moves much quicker with online relationships than with women he meets through traditional methods, like through friends or at a party.
John from Kitchener says he thinks things move faster because you know a lot about your online date since you’ve read their profile and interacted via text, emails and phone calls. The first meeting feels more like the third date, and if there’s chemistry things move quickly.
Hoping to meet Mr. Right and that he has a thick wallet
She’s confident, full of energy and has a positive attitude. She enters the online dating scene with her head held as high as her hopes. When she shows up for the first date, within minutes you know she’s the total package. But here lies the challenge. She’s looking for her own version of the total package, and it becomes obvious that she’s sizing you up. These online daters can be split into two subcategories:
Hoping to meet Mr. Right: Her intentions are honourable, but she’s not easily impressed. She knows what she wants and won’t tolerate any missteps. If she detects any red flags, you will be tossed quicker than you can say Match.com.
Hoping he has a thick wallet: The guys I spoke with say they’ve met many women who, on the first date, are interested in certain criteria: what do you do, what do you have, how much are you worth? And if the guys make the grade, they’re granted a second date.