SMOKE AND VANITY MIRRORS
In honour of the Weeknd’s new $325 vaporizer, we present other merchandising ideas for Canadian musicians,
The Weeknd returned to Toronto for a pair of hometown gigs at the Air Canada Centre this week with a curious new item available for sale in the merch booths: a personally branded vaporizer designed by shadowy Scarborough R&B star Abel Tesfaye, in partnership with California’s PAX Labs.
Although PAX’s chief marketing officer, Richard Mumby, is quite careful to dance around the obvious — “We want our customers to enjoy whatever material they want in a new and innovative way,” he says — there’s no denying that one of Tesfaye’s primary interests is smokin’ weed, as numerous Weeknd lyrics confirm.
Smart-marketing kudos to PAX, then, for convincing the media-shy Tesfaye to make an appearance at Queen West clothing retailer Nomad on Wednesday afternoon, stumping for the new “limited edition” vaporizer emblazoned with his XO label’s logo, which will be selling for $325 a pop at each of the 21North American dates on the Weeknd’s current The Madness fall tour.
The appearance came mere hours after new Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was sworn in on an election platform that pledged to look into making marijuana legal “right away.”
Tesfaye wasn’t a terribly generous spokesman. He only made a nineminute turn through the room two hours after the Nomad event’s scheduled 5 p.m. start time, after demanding that all “professional” cameras be removed from the premises, pausing briefly to sign a few Weeknd “signature” vaporizer packages in the middle of the shop and to chat curtly on camera with a for-hire documentary crew before a phalanx of very large bodyguards escorted him back to the rear exit.
This is the first time PAX has “specifically collaborated on a device with a musician,” says Mumby, and the company is getting a whole lot of prominent sponsorship presence throughout the entire Madness road swing, beyond the fact that one of its vaporizers is being sold as a tour souvenir at every stop. Evidently, some people are convinced there’s money to be made out there.
Perhaps this is the start of a whole new line of image-appropriate Weeknd products, then, from souvenir House of Balloons coke spoons to Tesfaye-approved detangling combs. And maybe, come to think of it, a few more of Toronto’s hip new crop of international stars should line up to cash in too.
Broken Social Scene action play set A replica tour bus stuffed with posable action figures from all corners of the BSS diaspora. Pair them up or herd them into bands in endless permutations and relive all the hissy fits and heartache of a real Broken Social Scene tour. Tom Cochrane and Andy Kim figures sold separately.
F---ed Up presents: “Damian’s Own” soothing throat spray After a hard day of shrieking himself raw onstage, F---ed Up frontman Damian Abraham cools off his vocal chords with this refreshing cannabis-mint spritz. Not recommended for children.
Austra’s Cloak of Mystery Available in black, dark black and purple-black, this state-of-the-art hooded cowl actually generates its own dry-ice fog. Subtle sparkles em- bedded in the fabric add a little glitter to the mix when viewed from the right angles.
Drake vanity mirror Ego need stroking? Sit in front of this flatteringly illuminated looking glass and let it placate your insecurities with a digital library of more than 1,000 sycophantic phrases. “Who’s the best-looking rapper in the world? That’s right, you are.” “You’re gonna have more money than Jay and Kanye put together by the end of this decade.” The “Make It Rain” model features an attachment that will spray the room with cash while you gaze into your own eyes.
Death From Above 1979 “Hold On, Hold On, Children” super glue Able to patch over any rift. Caution: Use only in well-ventilated areas and keep away from open flame. Highly combustible.
Lil’ Peaches feline disguise kit All the outrageous costumes, fake beards and prosthetic appendages from Peaches’ tour wardrobes and photo shoots rendered in cat sizes. Turn your Siamese into Peaches Christ Superstar in minutes!
Magic! Brand de-flavoured jerk chicken Desperate to enjoy jerk chicken — or at least look like it — but terrified of the spices? The Magic! kitchen washes all those scary Jamaican sensations away and makes this dish safe for even the blandest and most sensitive palates. Serve with white bread.