PET TRICKS
Turbo the goat is appearing at the Royal Winter Fair,
Most adoring pet owners would do anything for their cherished companions, but could they speak for their furry or feathered or finned friends and tell us what they are thinking? To find out, we’re putting pet owners to the test with the personality questionnaire made famous by French novelist Marcel Proust. Meet Brad de Wolde and Turbo. As one of the stars of the Goats on the Go live animal show at the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair, Turbo takes his celebrity status seriously. Entertaining crowds since he was 5 months old, “Turbo is the performer, he’s like a professional hockey player — he’s out there to win, and to show he can do it right every time,” de Wolde says. Now, the 5-year-old Nigerian dwarf goat shares the spotlight with three other goats, including twin sister Lulu, whose flair for comic relief makes her a fan favourite, much to Turbo’s chagrin. Whether he’s on stage or not, Turbo will do almost anything for his favourite sweet feed treat (a molasses-covered mix of oats, corn and barley). He is also a big fan of popcorn — unbuttered and lightly salted. His taste in music is strictly Billboard’s Hot 100, in particular the popular dance hit, “I Like to Move It.” Turbo is unimpressed by male reality TV stars who survive in the wilds. “He would like to take on Bear Grylls in a mountain climbing competition one day and show him how it’s really done,” de Wolde says. What is Turbo’s idea of perfect happiness? Perfect happiness for Turbo is a big, green paddock to run around in, with a huge jungle gym — he loves climbing, so the more levels in his life the better! Which living person does Turbo most admire?
His trainer Laura Forbes — she is the one who spent her time hand-raising Turbo and spends so much time enriching these guys — he just adores her.
What is it that Turbo most dislikes? The stigma that goats always seem to have. He dislikes viral videos of screaming goats, he dislikes goats jumping on trampolines — that’s probably why he’s taken it upon himself to be a perfectionist at showing others there’s more to goats than eating tin cans and screaming on the Internet. What does Turbo consider his greatest achievement? I think his greatest achievement is yet to come. One year at the All About Pets Show we met Mantracker (star of the Canadian reality TV series) while we were walking the goats, and more people wanted a picture with Turbo than with Mantracker. What or who is the greatest love of Turbo’s life? Jim from the feed store. He delivers the feed and when the truck pulls in they all run to the fence. It’s kind of like Christmas once a week. What is Turbo’s current state of mind? His current state of mind is free and easy. Even though he’s a competitor in his own right, the hard work pays off with a lot of play. What is Turbo’s most marked characteristic? His confidence in himself — it’s what makes him such a great goat and lends itself to his performance. What does Turbo most dislike about his appearance? Nothing so much — he’s got it all. Nicely groomed facial hair, and his horns are the perfect shape. One thing he doesn’t like about keeping his appearance is having to get his hooves trimmed — he doesn’t like the primping and preening part of the show. What is the quality Turbo most likes in a man?
Honesty. What is the quality Turbo most likes in a woman? Nurturing. Goats appreciate nurturing whether it comes from a man or a woman. What is Turbo’s most treasured possession? Goats are somewhat dissimilar to dogs in that they don’t usually relate to inanimate objects in the same way — but he has his favourite boxes to play on. They’re called jump boxes and we can stack them like Lego.
Who is Turbo’s hero of fiction? Pan (mythological Greek god — part man, part goat). What does Turbo regard as the lowest depth of misery? The Prairies. I think if he ever had to live in Saskatchewan, he would not be a very happy goat.
What is Turbo’s motto? Anything a dog can do, a goat can do better. If you think you know what your animal companion is thinking, email petpsyche@gmail.com and tell us why they should be profiled.