Passing judgment: Tara Deschamps evaluates each film,
How the six movies fared for a newbie to the franchise
Episode IV: A New Hope Pro: People warned me that watching the films so many years after they debuted would have me complaining about dated visual effects, but they were considerably better than I expected.
Con: Only a few seconds in, I was wondering if I’d made a bad choice when the iconic intro text scrolled up the screen. Who can actually read and remember all that when it’s flying away from you on a slant? Once you get past the intro and Han Solo’s chest hair, the plot has a surprising mix of action and humour, but I wasn’t hooked on the series just yet. Tara’s ranking: 4th place out of 6 movies Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back Pro: Much of the series might centre on Luke and Darth Vader, but Leia is the true standout here. Her one fault is that hair. I was pleasantly surprised to see those buns made over into a braided updo. Con: I’d long ago had the big plot twist revealed, that Darth Vader is Luke’s father. But I was shocked at how quickly Luke was willing to accept the relationship as truth. If I were Luke, I’d be asking for birth certificates and family photos. Tara’s ranking: 5 out of 6
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi Pro: I finally got a real shock when Luke and Leia were revealed to be siblings. And by the end of the movie, I was officially hooked. Con: Am I really supposed to believe a shapeless creature’s first thought upon capturing a princess is to chain her up in the most scantily clad manner? The famous gold bikini felt like the ’80s equivalent of a gratuitous shirtless Ryan Gosling scene. Tara’s ranking: 3 out of 6
Episode I: The Phantom Menace Pro: It would take two more episodes to really learn why Darth Vader became a proponent of the dark side, but the waiting didn’t seem a problem when there was pod-racing, picturesque underwater cities and some good acting from Ewan McGregor to distract me. Con: Jar Jar Binks. Tara’s ranking: 2 out of 6
Episode II: Attack of the Clones Pro: When Yoda goes head to head with the evil Count Dooku. Con: Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman were stiff and their romantic dialogue cheesy. I nearly snorted when Anakin told Padmé, “I don’t like the sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, not like you. You’re soft and smooth.”
Tara’s ranking: 6 out of 6 Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Pro: There was heartbreak when Padmé was choked unconscious by her love, awe when Anakin was pieced back together and rose as Vader, and hope in Luke and Leia being hurried into safety. Con: None. Suffice to say this film was most memorable, so Episode VII has big expectations to live up to. Tara’s ranking: 1 out of 6