Marrying up
A matchmaker for the 1 per cent of Toronto,
One 20-something “millionheiress” to a family fortune and two 40-something self-made millionaires looking for a perfect 10.
It’s a tall order for certified matchmaker Natacha Noël, who runs Montreal-based date-coaching and matchmaking service Absolute Bachelor Club. Noël hosted a Toronto open house recently to match three 1 percenters with the loves of their lives.
In an atmosphere that felt like an audition room, Noël’s team, dressed in red power suits, served cupcakes, chocolates, a veggie tray and Perrier as she interviewed potential matches in a separate room.
More than 60 women and just two men side-eyed each other as they filled out paperwork at the Sevan Art Gallery near Yonge and Isabella Sts. The Toronto “Meet & Greet” was an open house for anyone — rich or otherwise — but Noël was up front if an applicant wasn’t a match for her millionaires.
Dating is hard. But Noël will tell you it can be harder if you’re rich — really, really rich. Her clients pay about $2,500 for “date coaching,” and from $10,000 to $25,000 for a personalized search (like the Toronto open-house event). Toronto is home to more than 120,000 millionaires (the most in Canada) according to 2014 research by WealthInsight, but in a city swimming with middle-class singles, it can be hard for the millionaires to find their matches.
“There’s a certain amount of pressure to — not marry up, but marry the same,” says Noël of the unique dating needs of the super-wealthy. “Because these individuals that we’re looking for represent1per cent of the population, it’s really difficult to meet them.”
And perhaps unsurprisingly, the men among these millionaires are “extremely difficult” in terms of what they want their potential matches to look like.
“The men want a 10-10-10. Amazing body, amazing face, they want intelligence,” she says. “They’re looking for exceptionally beautiful women.”
One millionaire man hopes for a more “natural beauty, girl-next-door” type. The other bachelor wants a woman who could be “a super-beautiful bartender — voluptuous. Or a little more on the Barbie side.”
The heiress is more open to about her suitors’ looks. “Everybody wants to be attracted” to someone, says Noël, though Erin “doesn’t have just one type.” When it comes down to it, the men and one woman on whose behalf Noël is screening applicants aren’t looking for anything out of the ordinary — besides a thick wallet.
“Nobody wants a dummy,” she says. “Nobody wants a gold digger.”
“There’s a certain amount of pressure to — not marry up, but marry the same.”
NATACHA NOËL CERTIFIED MATCHMAKER
Here’s a look at the three millionaires, who wished to remain anonymous. Names supplied are pseudonyms. Descriptions are based on information from the Absolute Bachelors Club website. MILLIONAIRE 1: Erin Age: mid-20s Location: Toronto Description: Noël describes Erin as a “European Kim Kardashian.” She is an heiress who manages a family business while studying interior and architectural design. She’s passionate, articulate and refined. She is driven and goal-oriented. She likes to relax by travelling, skiing and spending time with those she loves. She’s open to a variety of activities, from attending professional conferences to auto races, and wants to start a family. Looking for: A gentleman in all meanings of the word. He expresses himself well, brings passion and care to his work and daily life, is financially secure and has a gentle and sweet disposition. He has to be “educated, handsome, well-spoken, established, independent,” says Erin. He’s got to have class, passion and be humble. “You can be humble but you can still enjoy the luxuries of life, right?” she says. Noël on Erin: Noël is accepting applicants for Erin up to age 45. “Her mom is 48, so you don’t want to go too old,” she says, but age might bring what Erin is looking for in her match. “She’s looking for a certain lifestyle. She grew up with a driver bringing her to school.” In her own words: She wants to date somebody who has the same standards as she does — when it comes to shopping and cars, for example. “I don’t mean to sound shallow, because I’m far from that. A car is just a car. And believe me, I’ve dated people who are from very different backgrounds, from the way they were raised to what they make,” she says.
The heiress has tried online dating, which she says was “interesting.”
“I’ve had a guy message me asking if I’d be interested for him to pay me monthly to lick and suck my toes.” She prefers the anonymity and wider boundaries of Noël’s services to online dating and being set up on dates within her wealthy Toronto world.
“I don’t want to meet so-and-so, the hairdresser’s son who knows whoever from around the corner,” she says. “It would be neat to have somebody from outside of the circle.” MILLIONAIRE 2: Eric Age: mid-40s Location: Montreal and Florida Description: Noël says this finance type is a loving and generous man who will be your ever-respectful best friend, lover and partner. Passionate about life, active and adventurous, he enjoys travelling and has a good sense of humour. Besides working out regularly, he likes cycling, tennis, beach sports, cooking and watching movies. He’s never been married and would love to start a family. Looking for: A passionate woman who’s willing to make their relationship a priority. A woman who enjoys good restaurants, wine and travelling as much as he does. Noël on Eric: Lost and aimless? Get in line. Eric will be your saviour: “He’s OK with the girl who has daddy issues, who doesn’t really know where she’s going and he’s going to save her,” says Noël.
Eric made his first million at 19, retired at 29 and moved to Florida. Now he makes a lot of his money playing the stock market. He missed marriage twice because he “wasn’t ready,” she says. Those two women had given him ultimatums: put a ring on it or she’s gone. But now he’s ready for any type of lady — as long as she looks the part. In his own words: He has described his dating lifestyle to Noël as “binging” on the Maxim type of girl. “I go to the gym four times a week, so I expect the girl I’m with to want to please, to be healthy. I want someone who wants to look good for the man she is with. It’s very important,” he says.
But he wants more than what he’s used to. He still seeks the “amazing, beautiful, sexy girl,” but now wants “passion” and “substance.”
“The problem is that when you’re a little bit successful, you’re doing good, you’re going to be meeting very beautiful women. The problem is also beautiful women can pick and choose whatever they want. It’s a little bit of a game,” he says. MILLIONAIRE 3: Mike Age: mid-40s Location: Toronto Description: A Toronto real estate developer with a decade spent in the business. Noël describes him as authentic, down-to-earth, solid in his values, honest, trustworthy and reliable.
He thrives on intimacy and loves real conversations where honest feelings are shared. He believes that his real wealth comes from being in touch with who he is. He loves movies, music, dining out, dressing up for special events, sun tanning and walks. He’s never been married and has no children. Looking for: A woman who is both conservative and sexy. He wants a more “classic beauty.” When they meet, there has to be a spark. And then it just has to feel right. “He doesn’t want the girl who doesn’t know what she’s going to do next,” says Noël. He has no age preference, but hopes for a woman young enough that building a family is still in the cards. Noël on Mike: He’s the ever-cordial client, always thanking Noël for her services. “He’s been through a lot,” says Noël, not willing to get into specifics, but calls them “personal trials.” “He is a success for having surmounted so many things. It is only natural that he gives himself the opportunity to find someone that he’s going to be able to connect with on very deep levels.” In his own words: Money doesn’t concern this bachelor, whether it’s his own or his match’s. “It’s not even an issue. I think an individual’s character is their wealth, not their pocketbook,” says Mike. He’s not worried about gold diggers, either. “I think I could smell through that. I don’t have an issue with the opposite sex being attracted to me or wanting to go out. It’s just that that person — that special person, call it — hasn’t presented themself.”
That’s largely due to his conservative, work-oriented lifestyle. “I’m busy with my work, I’m a private person. I don’t go out a lot to clubs and all these kind of things,” he says.
Noël’s screening process feels much like a job interview. She’s blunt in her questioning as she reads through the paperwork the applicants have filled out while in the waiting area. The evaluation questionnaire asks applicants questions like: Are you happy with your life? What would you like to accomplish in the next five years? What do you dislike about being single? What three items can you not go without? And where do you shop for clothes?
Of the more than 60 applicants in attendance at the Toronto open house, two matches were made for each of the men; there were no matches for the heiress.
Next, Noël sets up longer consultation sessions with the matches and picks the winning match to go on a date with the millionaire. Applicant 1: Natasha Age: 45 Location: Toronto Occupation: Regulatory and government affairs
Natasha Young was first at bat during the eight-hour open house, arriving on her lunch break from a nearby job. A friend told her about the event and she thought, “What have I got to lose?”
Filling out the paperwork, she seemed a bit wary of the process. “I’m a bit of an adventurous sort,” she said. She’s never used a dating website, though she completed a selfhelp course called “Calling in the One” and is now in Noël’s database. Though the millionaire-status of the bachelors was a likely pull for some applicants, it’s not so for Young. “There are shallow people. I am not one of them.” She’s looking for someone who is “honest, loyal, someone you have chemistry with.” Applicant 2: Stephanie Age: 25 Location: Toronto Occupation: Engineering
One of the younger applicants at the open house, Stephanie, who chose to only give her first name, is more than willing to date an older man. She’s open to an age range of 30 to 50.
“I’ve never found anyone that’s my age or close to my age who’s ready for what I’m looking for,” she says. The main trait she wants in a match is kindness. “It’s really hard to find actual genuine nice people.”
Stephanie isn’t a gold digger, either. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to turn down somebody with money, but I make more than enough to support everything that I’ve ever wanted to do.” Applicant 3: Alyssa Age: 37 Location: Toronto Occupation: Counselling
Alyssa is an alias as this applicant requested to remain anonymous.
Counselling professional Alyssa is tired of the commitment-phobe. She’s hoping to find a man who is stable and willing to not only invest in himself but in a relationship. The millionaire status of Noël’s bachelors isn’t the reason she came — but it helps.
“The only part of that that’s appealing is to finally date a man that isn’t going to nickel and dime everything,” she says. “Whether someone’s like a millionaire or not doesn’t matter because you could have someone who’s stingy with their money, they could have tons of it or less of it.”