Cara and Julien
Cara learns a harsh lesson from handsome Julien on jumping to conclusions
Cara is a 31-year-old market researcher and entrepreneur who lives in the entertainment district. She says “I love vintage pieces, and finding great deals at consignment stores. I adore purses and handbags.” Cara loves painting, travelling to New York, working out and “drinking and learning about wine.”
She says, “I work from home, so my chances of meeting someone ‘at work’ are slim to none. I make it a point to go out at least three or four nights a week.”
I plunged into the online-dating waters a while ago, and have really had a love-hate relationship with it, as most people do.
It’s so exciting to see all of these magical options in front of you, but the poor choices sometimes make me want to delete my profile in a fit of rage.
After a couple of days, I came across Julien’s profile. Immediately my interest was piqued. His bio read well, and he was handsome ... very handsome. Every photo was great, actually, leading me to think he had either edited himself into a J. Crew catalogue, or that he simply hung out with exclusively attractive, athletic and hip people.
We started messaging each other, added each other on Instagram and he soon asked if we could talk on the phone. I thought, “He wants to talk on the phone? Have I really found the one guy who still wants to do this?!” I gave him my number, and a coffee date was planned. I was a happy, happy camper.
We both arrived few minutes early to the date. I started mentally hand- ing out gold stars: He was early! He looked like his photos! The conversation got off to a great start, and he paid for our drinks. Ding! Ding! Ding! A second round was soon ordered, the conversation was flowing, and I noticed a woman nearby smiling at us.
Clearly, she also knew there was a spark happening here.
Julien was nice, handsome, focused on his career and just seemed to be the whole package. I was really excited, but I calmed my inner self as best I could. At one point, I even hit the bathroom and splashed some water on my face, as if I was going back into the boxing ring that is my love life. I told myself not to screw this one up.
After coffee, we roamed the neighbourhood, talking about what we’re looking for in our next relationships. As it got dark, Julien offered to drive me to the subway, as he had plans with friends for dinner. We got to talking about food, and found out we have some mutual restaurant loves. Of course.
He then asked me to dinner for the following night. Huzzah! We agreed to a time and place, and I was out of the car and off to the subway station, feeling grand.
The next morning, I woke up to a text from Julien asking if he could call me. I assumed he was offering to pick me up for dinner, and wanted my address.
Instead, I got a quick lesson in why one should never assume anything: it would appear that our going for coffee and making plans for dinner were too many things for Julien to process. “This is moving too quickly,” he said. “I can’t do this.”
Reminding him that he was the one who suggested dinner didn’t work. Julien had decided this was just too serious, and that my wanting a boyfriend again one day was something he couldn’t deal with.
I was in between crying ever so slightly, and feeling very, very angry that it wasn’t even 10 o’clock in the morning yet. As we said goodbye, he casually mentioned that if I was still free that night, he was game for coming over and having sex. Really, dude? I told him to eff off, and hung up. Cara rates her date (out of 10): 4 Want to be a dating diarist? Email datingdiariescontact@gmail.com
The next morning, I woke up to a text from Julien asking if he could call me. I assumed he was offering to pick me up for dinner. Instead, I got a quick lesson in why one should never assume anything