Make resolutions for the whole family
Create a mindful new year by setting several goals that parents and kids do together
When you turn your mind to new year’s resolutions this week, what if you didn’t make the usual vow to go to the gym five days a week?
In fact, what if you reframed the whole business of Jan. 1 self-improvement and made new year’s resolutions about goals for the family instead?
That’s exactly what Jenn Wallage will be doing with her husband and two kids for the second year in a row when they sit down to craft their list of things they want to accomplish in 2016.
Last year’s 20-item list included things like “visit a new city,” “explore a new provincial park” and “plant a vegetable garden” — a big departure from how Wallage approached new year’s resolutions in the past.
“It was ‘I want to lose 20 pounds’ or ‘declutter the house.’ It was ‘me’ focused and not family focused,” says the Waterloo, Ont., mom. And while this year’s list will have no mention of pounds on a scale either, the family did get healthier in 2015 by making good on their vows to go on more family bike rides, hike in both winter and summer and work together on the garden, she says.
Part of the problem with new year’s resolutions lies with our habit of cramming all of our self-improvement efforts into the start of the year, says Mike Vardy, author of The Front Nine: How to Start the Year You Want Anytime You Want.
“The hard part about that is that you’re coming off a whole swath of family time and a rush to get work done before you go on holiday and you’re at your lowest level of energy and focus.”
A father of two and productivity consultant from Victoria, Vardy and his family make a vision board to bring everyone’s goal’s together, from a trip they’ll go on to what one child desperately wants to be for Halloween. “When you have resolutions as an individual, they’re fairly insular and isolated. If you focus on the group — the family — you get to make more mindful and carefully considered resolutions.”
If it’s your goal to keep the family more organized in 2016, copy Vardy’s weekly tradition of having a meeting with his wife to discuss finances, food and family, leaving that precious date night free from logistical family matters.
“If you’re going to make a resolution, make a resolution to communicate more about the things that might be slipping through the cracks, like that bill came out of nowhere.”
Another good family goal to consider is establishing a tech blackout time each week when the gang spends time together free from the constant ping of work emails and Instagram notifications. If you’d like to use your phone to watch the time and take cute photos of your kids at the skating rink or winter market, put it on airplane mode, suggests Vardy.
Alanna McGinn says there’s something else we should consider among our goals for 2016: getting better sleep.
“In January we start seeing those health goals posted on Facebook about who joined the gym. You never see anyone post, ‘I’m going to sleep more,’ ” says the mother of three and founder of Good Night Sleep Site.
Instead of wearing our sleep deprivation like a badge of honour, we should bring back bedtime for the parent and the child, she says. “We are busy and balance is almost unattainable. But there is a moment in the day when everyone can slow down and reconnect and that’s at bedtime.”
After all, if the family’s better rested, all other goals — from improved fitness to fewer sibling arguments — will be easier to attain. Brandie Weikle is a parenting expert, host of The New Family Podcast and editor of thenewfamily.com.
“It was ‘I want to lose 20 pounds’ or ‘declutter the house.’ It was ‘me’ focused and not family focused.” JENN WALLAGE WATERLOO, ONT., MOM