Not as easy as ABC
Find out which Hollywood celebrities are getting passing grades as authors of the surprisingly difficult genre of children’s literature
Surely, some celebrities must think that writing kids’ books is child’s play.
How else to explain the vast volume of picture books authored by entertainers? The list of celebrity children’s authors is ever growing and already includes: Madonna, Will Smith, Jay Leno, Bruce Springsteen, Alex Rodriguez, John Travolta, Barack Obama, Sting and Jimmy Fallon.
But parents, shop owners and librarians agree that — with some notable exceptions — children’s books are generally best left to the professionals.
“It’s the whole adage: Just because you can, should you?” said Janet Eastwood, the Toronto Public Library’s senior collections specialist for children’s materials.
“You lose a lot with celebrities writing. In all honesty, a lot of them are very flat, they’re not multi-dimensional books; it’s not necessarily the best prose and they’re riding on the name.
“Not that I think these people go out ill-intended, but the reality is it’s a real craft. It’s probably harder than writing for adults.
“I think people really believe it’s an easy thing to do.”
The sheer number of celebrities entering the kiddie fiction fray would seem to prove her right.
Bookshop shelves are stuffed with celeb-penned books written for kids but aimed, in a way, at their parents, who might be intrigued by a familiar name or a promotional Ellen appearance. “Did I actually have a parent come in and say, ‘I need Pharrell’s new book?’ I wouldn’t say so. But are they happy to come upon it, absolutely,” Eastwood said.
And to be sure, some moonlighting stars have shone. Eastwood and Mabel’s Fables Bookstore owner Eleanor LeFave award high praise to a wide swath of celebrities, including Jamie Lee Curtis and John Lithgow.
Toronto writer Joann MacDonald bought Julianne Moore’s popular Freckleface Strawberry for her two now-adolescent kids when they were younger. The draw, she says, was that red hair runs in her family, but she concedes name recognition played a role. “She’s a talented actress and the book looked really cute . . . with a really strong message,” said MacDonald, 44.
Most of the other literary forays of famous people have not met with such robust acclaim.
“For each good one, there are at least five bad ones,” Eastwood joked.
Those bad ones tend to have lifespans as short as their word counts. Eastwood says the library needs to reorder the best children’s books again and again as kids eagerly wear them out. Tellingly, celebrity books are rarely subject to such tough love.
Even in the retail realm, these titles typically fade once their authors finish the publicity cycle.
“Many of them are a flavour of the month, a one-hit wonder,” LeFave said. “Maybe their fans purchase them, but only the really great ones stay on our shelves year after year.”
Even celebrity authors don’t necessarily want to be identified as such.
“I was hoping I wasn’t a big enough celebrity to be lumped in with celebrity children’s authors,” said comedian Michael Ian Black, who has four kids’ books to his name.
“To be lumped in with Madonna, it makes my skin crawl. Not that there’s anything wrong with them, but it feels like such a marketing stunt.” So, what did motivate Black? “I was honestly reading a book to my kids every night and thinking: ‘I could write a book at least as bad as these ones.’”
Ultimately, all celebrity-penned kids’ books must pass the same test — and their critics won’t be persuaded by whatever star power twinkles on the cover. “Children don’t care. They don’t know who these people are,” LeFave said. “They’re tough customers, often.”