SEVEN SONGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SING AT KARAOKE
“Don’t Stop Believin’?” That’ll cost you extra
Pity the karaoke host. Whenever they put on a show, there are always a few earworms they have to quietly endure again and again. Think twice before inflicting any of these overdone numbers on a helpless DJ. “My Heart Will Go On” by Céline Dion Titanic brought out the romantic in every amateur singer after it hit theatres in 1998. The movie’s theme song was so popular that it was the first to be banned by host Jason Rolland. (His blacklist also includes Bette Midler, Josh Groban and, until recently, Justin Bieber.) “Someone Like You” or “Hello” by Adele Most karaoke divas’ favourite artist is, of course, Adele, Rolland says. “She is the Céline Dion of this generation when it comes to karaoke.” For about a year after 21 came out, the album’s second single, “Someone Like You,” was on the blacklist. “Every single night without fail, someone had to do that song,” he says. “Now it’s only every third night.” “Creep” by Radiohead Sure, the verses are easy enough. But that high-pitched bridge? Not only is this song done to death, it’s also “very frequently butchered,” says karaoke DJ Stephen Chadderton, a.k.a. Steve-O. Rolland, too, says he grits his teeth whenever he has to put up with any Thom Yorke wannabes. “Personally I hate Radiohead. It’s like, sing a f--king chorus, man.” “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” by Journey Just about everyone has witnessed someone stumble onstage and belt out: “Just a small town girl living in a lonely world . . .” Or maybe that was you. Toronto’s karaoke DJs have heard it all too often. “As soon as I hear that ta-na-na, just the beginning part, makes me want to kill myself,” says host Shawn Meunier. For Chadderton, it’s become second nature to tune out Journey played at any volume. And if you want to sing this rock anthem on any of Rolland’s nights, you’ll have to pay a $10 surcharge. Seriously. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen On behalf of all karaoke DJs: please, please save this one for the shower. “Now it’s just torturous,” says Rol- land. “Enough is enough.” “Whenever somebody sings a different song by Queen, I say, ‘I know a lot of you kids under 27 are going to be shocked by this, I want you to sit down: Queen has done more than one song.’ ” “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler Rolland is on the verge of adding “Total Eclipse of the Heart” to the banned or must-pay list. The Bonnie Tyler breakup song exploded in popularity after its expletive-laden cover in Old School. “Old School was how long ago? Like 10 years?” (Twelve, actually.) “We don’t need to hear you say f--k every three words.” Nine times out of 10, Chadderton says, people who volunteer to sing this song haven’t read the lyrics carefully. “They’re actually quite dark,” he says. “Every once in a while, you get someone who just broke up with somebody and you’re like, ‘Oh yeah, dish it out!’ ” “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers Inexplicably, this song is quite popular with karaoke newbies and they always, always screw it up, Chadderton says. “For whatever reason, they think they know ‘The Gambler.’ I don’t know, maybe it was grampa’s favourite song or something. Guaranteed they only know the chorus. “Pick something else,” he pleaded. “If you really want to, you can sing Justin Bieber at my shows. If you insist.”