Playoffs now become an arms race
It’s all up to the likes of Manning, Brady et al this weekend
Let’s be honest: The football was garbage last weekend, right? Kansas City struggling early to put away a team who had apparently paid an actor to play quarterback; Cincinnati and Pittsburgh playing prison football, which while eventful looked like a preseason game on psychotic drugs; Seattle and Minnesota locked in the cold like Leo in “The Revenant,” decided by a missed field goal; Green Bay beating a paper Washington team.
It’s always fun watching the Washingtons lose, but . . . meh.
Ha, the Washingtons did lose, though. Never gets old.
But technically proficient football requires quarterbacks. The bad football was partly the result of AJ McCarron being a backup, Ben Roethlisberger getting hurt, Brian Hoyer being Brian Hoyer, Minnesota having an outdoor stadium on a Fargo sort of day, Alex Smith being a slow burner — he has thrown for an average of 191 yards in Kansas City’s 11 straight wins — and even Aaron Rodgers not really being spectacular.
But now it’s quarterback time. This weekend adds Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, Russell Wilson and Cam Newton to Rodgers, Smith, and the remains of Ben Roethlisberger and Peyton Manning. Other than Manning, Rodgers had the worst passer rating among that crew this season. Which wasn’t hard, because Manning was 34th among qualified quarterbacks, and last.
Manning is in such a strange, neardeath place. He’s been benched, buried, resurrected, and now the Broncos have the best defence in football, a damaged opponent, and nobody to be scared of on the road to a Super Bowl, except their own quarterback. Manning might have had two good games this season, and one came against Detroit.
But hell, New England is vulnerable, Kansas City is limited, Pittsburgh is crumpled, and Peyton Manning is the only thing keeping Denver from getting a chance to be pummelled in the Super Bowl again. He may not even have a real backup — Brock Osweiler wasn’t practising as of Thursday. No safety net. Just him.
And maybe he can do it. You can talk yourself into it, if you try.
Peyton Manning is the worst quarterback left in the playoffs, the one most likely to commit a series of crippling mistakes — okay, Roethlisberger may also be in this category, temporarily — and it’s still not impossible that he can do this, win two games, and then hope not to die against Seattle or Carolina or Arizona. The Super Bowl, either way, would be like a Viking funeral for his career.
Because this is it, probably. This feels like Peyton Manning’s last chance, at least in Denver. One Super Bowl in his career, but maybe, with this D . . . he just needs three non-disastrous games. Just three.
Whatever happens, at least AlJazeera America announced that it’s shutting down, not two weeks after its documentary about doping that accused Manning of HGH use. It means nothing for the merits of the accusations, because they did excellent work. But as you get older, spite can still count as a victory.
Last week this space went 1-3. As always, all lines could change.
THE PICKS
Kansas City (+5) at New England
Uh, looking at the Patriots . . . when was the last time they beat a good team? Working backwards: lost to Miami and the Jets to end the season. Beat Tennessee, Houston (does not count as good), lost to Philly, lost at Denver, and of the 10 games before that, all wins, the best teams were Pittsburgh, Washington when they were 3-5, and the Jets. Sort of good teams? Oh, and defensive lineman Chandler Jones just OD’d on synthetic marijuana and Rob Gronkowski’s knee may be a problem. So. Pick: K.C. 24, New England 23
Green Bay (+7) at Arizona
The Cardinals are the quiet scary team. Everyone knows Seattle. Carolina was the story of the season. Arizona? Quietly a top-four team on offence and defence, even though they lost a game to the Landry Jones Steelers this season. As for the Packers, Rodgers is still making a weird number of throws that just miss, at least until he realizes he’s playing the Washingtons. It’s like he’s got quarterback PTSD or something. Protect your quarterbacks, people. Without them, you’re dead. Pick: Arizona 27, Green Bay 17
Seattle (+3) at Carolina
Seattle monster defensive lineman and whimsical genius Michael Bennett, on Seattle-Carolina last year: “It’s so much alike, man. It’s like you look at a girl who looks like you, and you find out it’s your cousin, so you can’t go on a date with her even though you’d like to, because she looks like you. But then you see her friend, and her friend’s really hot, and you’re like, ‘That’s not my cousin,’ so it’s good.” This game is the hot friend, maybe. It’s not really clear. Pick: Seattle 23, Carolina 21
Pittsburgh (+7) at Denver
Roethlisberger’s shoulder is hurt, and he might not be able to throw more than 15 yards. Peyton Manning’s 39, and he may not be able to throw a ball more than 15 yards. Antonio Brown, the best receiver in football, may not be able to play with a concussion. The Steelers already lost their No. 1 running back. This could be weirdly awful, to the point where I think Kansas City is making the Super Bowl, which is probably wrong. Pick: Denver 14, Pittsburgh 9 Last week: 1-3 Season: 131-123-5.