Don’t talk about . . .

Mayor John Tory is going on a mission — or is that Mission Impossible? — next month to try and tempttop talent to relocate to the Kitchener-Toronto high-tech corridor from California’s supersunny Silicon Valley (think San Jose to San Francisco, just for comparison’s sake).

He’s convinced they’ll want to leave behind wide ocean beaches, the wine valleys of Napa and Sonoma and the San Jose Sharks to escape the divisive political landscape created by The Donald — and we don’t mean duck here, despite Silicon Valley’s proximity to another attraction, Disneyland.

“You may think I’m joking, but I’m not,” he says. We believe you, Mayor Tory. Others may not. But as any politician knows, sales pitches are all in the spin-doctoring.

So while you’re down there, may we suggest you not mention:

The weather. Never mind Toronto’s snow, ice storms, ice pellets, freezing rain and more — sometimes all on the same day. In April, while you are visiting Silicon Valley, San Francisco will have highs of 17 C while Toronto has highs of, ahem, 6.3. DO NOT use weather in your sales pitch, even if Toronto’s is better than, umm, Iqaluit’s.

Hockey. The Leafs’ last championship was in 1967, long before most high-tech wizards were born. Contrast that to the highlights of a Sharks game, which starts with the team skating onto the ice through the mouth of a giant shark. Now that’s showmanship! Did we mention don’t mention the Leafs?

Lake Ontario. While it is a Great Lake, it’s not an ocean. There’s no surfing and bikini days are limited because of . . . see No. 1.

Good luck, Mayor Tory, Surfin’ U.S.A. You’ll need it.

On his southern sojourn, Mayor John Tory would be wise to avoid mentioning the weather