VERDICT SHINES LIGHT ON A HARSH REALITY
The trial of the man charged with sexually assaulting me began on the same day, in the same courthouse as the trial of Jian Ghomeshi.
To be honest, I am somewhat relieved that Ghomeshi was acquitted.
I’m not suggesting I don’t believe the women who testified. Rather, I worried that if the courts found Ghomeshi guilty, Canadians may wrongly believe that our justice system is working for women who report sexual assault. I did not want a finding of guilt to potentially erase the isolating and painful experiences of sexual assault, the ensuing police report and the court proceedings.
The trial provides Canadians with honest insight into what can be expected during a sexual assault trial. It’s something they rarely see.
It becomes the woman who is on trial, unrepresented. Almost every choice that has been made up until that moment can be used as evidence to demonstrate that she is a liar, fame-seeking, vindictive and/or unrapeable.
There are irreversible emotional, psychological and financial costs associated with reporting sexual assault. Your medical history, phone records and sexual history with the accused can be entered into evidence. And days of cross-examination and ongoing delays in the court proceedings prolong the experience.
Third-party records and sexual history applications create another day in court and another layer of worrying about what may be revealed and entered into public record.
People often ask me if I think I will “win” my case. There is no winning as a witness in a sexual assault case.
No verdict can ever reverse what has already happened. I will never get back the hundreds of hours I spent reporting to police, making numerous phone calls begging for information, testifying in court, or the days I have spent in bed worrying about what is coming.
I will not be compensated for the days I have taken off work to attend court and therapy. I can’t get back the time away from my friends and family, or the impact on my PhD studies.
What does it mean if our current system is capable of breaking down a white, educated middle-class woman with stable income and housing? It means that we have a long way to go.
It means that a system built for white male property owners cannot and will never work to prosecute crimes of gendered and sexualized violence.