No need to fight over names of newborns

From the beginning of my (first) pregnancy, my husband and I chose names for a boy and a girl. Madeleine was the only girl’s name we considered, as it’s meaningful in his family. During a visit back home, we learned that my sister-in-law was also pregnant, our due dates only 10 days apart. We also shared our chosen names.

I delivered my little girl and Madeleine was welcomed by all (everyone knew her name already.) When my brother and sister-in-law welcomed their girl, they took two days before announcing the name: Madison.

I find the similarity ridiculous. Both girls will likely have the same nickname, Maddie. I’m beyond hurt that my brother could lack tact on such a permanent matter. He was coy and had my father announce the name. I don’t even know what to say to him. Stolen Name

Two little girls, each with beautiful names, should grow up as cousins without a family rift attached to their identities. Soon, they’ll treasure having similar nicknames, as a bond . . . if you don’t colour it differently in their eyes.

Yes, your brother and sister-in-law came close to using the same name. I do appreciate that it bothered you. But now that it’s a done deed, and especially since you live in different locales, get past it.

You want to be able to enjoy many family occasions together.

He’s undoubtedly aware of how you feel, so discuss it briefly. Say you were surprised, but accept that they loved that name as much as you love the one you chose.

Then enjoy your own uniquely special baby girl. When I hang out with my friends that I’ve made in my new school of three months, I feel suffocated and uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, I’ve met a girl who’s really sweet and we get along really well. She’s my “deskie” and I really appreciate her.

With the others, I’m in a group of six but having issues with two of them. One’s a girl, “R.” The other’s my new-found best friend, “J.”

We split into pairs all the time. Rwas with another girl, but she’s now stealing J away from me. R doesn’t want to hang out with the other girl. She and J do things together all the time and it’s annoying because J’s getting distant.

I’ve talked to her about this and she’s said she’d never ditch me. But I don’t even want to hang out with J anymore because R is always there.

I don’t want to talk to R about this, she’s really aggressive, and if I do her wrong she’ll probably stab me or something.

J doesn’t laugh at my jokes anymore. I feel like she’s sick of me and she treats R really well. I don’t know what to do. So Annoyed!

You’re feeling anxious, even fearful. This is partly because the school is new to you and how recently you acquired these friends.

Over time — and certainly when school resumes after the summer — they’ll have become friends you’re more used to.

R is certainly aggressive in seeking out whom she wants, which is fair because no one should force her to be a “pair” with someone she doesn’t like much.

J would stay friends with you, but you’re not letting her because you’re mad at R. Try to calm down from all this competition.

There have apparently been no nasty threats, so no suggestion of “stabbing.” Don’t let your imagination run wild. Meanwhile, spend more time with your desk-mate. She seems a friend you can trust. Tip of the day No one holds exclusive rights to popular baby names. Email ellie@thestar.ca. Follow @ellieadvice