The standup set I wish I never gave
Four comics recall the shows they wish they could do again
After a March 26 show in New Brunswick, N.J. ended with boos and walkouts, comedian Margaret Cho got the last laugh. Jerry Seinfeld swooped in to host a déjà Cho show, inviting the audience back for a free do-over on April 21. Following a group discussion between Cho and the audience moderated by Seinfeld, the 62year-old did a half-hour opening set before Cho redid her material.
As much as this groundbreaking show sounds like a standup’s fantasy come true, Toronto comedian Matt O’Brien calls it more of a recurring nightmare for him. “Bad shows, in my head, I never want to visit that place again,” he says. Before appearing at SiriusXM’s Top Comic Showcase on Wednesday, O’Brien and his coheadliners recalled their own personal comedy car crashes. Faisal Butt
I do my opening joke, which is about three minutes. And that gets a good reaction.
And then I literally went into the same joke that the audience had just heard. People are kind of laughing because they think, oh, he is doing something hilarious.
But I am full steam into the joke again, and people are not reacting now. Now it’s just dead silent. I’m like, that’s weird, because this joke always works.
Now I’m telling the crowd, that’s so funny! I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I tried to go into another joke, but the crowd was not on my side.
Getting off, one of the waitresses is like, you know you did the same joke twice, right? The club owner just kind of chewed me out. But at the end he said, by the way, this has happened to everyone.
Derek Seguin I had to drive nine hours to get to this terrible show in Rouyn-Noranda, Que. I hadn’t done a lot of corporate shows at the time.
They did three hours of speeches, and door prizes. At the end of the president’s long, 45-minute speech, he said, “OK, Derek Seguin,” and everyone got up and went outside to smoke, to the bathroom, to the bar, and I had literally six people listening to me.
After 10 minutes, the girl was giving me the signal to cut it, the slice across the throat.
I was still so new that I didn’t realize it was more their fault than my fault. They did not know that there needs to be very special circumstances to make a comedy show work. Ben Miner Montreal was my first-ever roadwork. I got to the club and there was a hypnotist on stage. I called my agent and said, “am I in the right place, man?”
The hypnotist sucked. He couldn’t hypnotize anyone. The show ran long because of the hypnotist being horrible at hypnotizing people. It was supposed to be done in time for me to catch a bus back to Ottawa that night.
I ended up having to find a couch to crash on, and then my ticket cost more the next day. So I ended up spending $54 and making $50 on the show. Matt O’Brien They wanted a comedian to show up to their corporate Christmas party and make fun of them as they ate in a restaurant.
First 10 minutes: hilarious. It’s weird and stupid.
Fifteen minutes hits. Complete silence. People are yelling at me to stop. I literally blamed the boss. This guy wants me to do 45, so I am just going to keep going.
I stuck to it until he stood up and clapped his hands twice and said, “Please leave.” I did 26 minutes. I was kind of proud of myself that I went through with it as far as I did.