Is a DIY Mother’s Day what mom wants?
One-third of Canadian moms buy their own gift, but most aren’t asked what they want
The year she was pregnant with her daughter and her son was a toddler, Alex Leech bought herself a Mother’s Day gift — a silver starfish pendant on a necklace.
Now, Leech gets breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day, provided by her daughter and son, ages 6 and 8, and her husband, who is under instructions that Mother’s Day is a card-only event.
Like all moms are supposed to be, Leech is happy with that. Pretty much. Kind of. Maybe not. OK, maybe once in a while it would be nice to be surprised.
“I end up getting breakfast in bed because it’s fun for the kids,” said Leech, a bit wary about being mobbed for admitting that breakfast-in-bed is anything less than the-best-most-amazing-gift-ever.
“I always secretly hope there’s something extra there.”
Recent research by the online marketplace RetailMeNot.ca found that 33 per cent of Canadian moms truly do it all, right down to buying their own Mother’s Day gift, as Leech did, or paying for part or all of their celebration.
Another finding in the online survey of 1,500 seems to explain why: only 37 per cent of Canadians actually ask their mother what they want for Mother’s Day.
It’s no wonder that 53 per cent of moms said they end up getting something they need, rather than something they want, on Mother’s Day, said Sara Skirboll, a spokeswoman for RetailMeNot Inc., headquartered in Austin, Texas.
“I have never bought myself a gift, but I have done a lot of hinting and guiding in the right direction and I have seen mothers in the shop do that as well,” said Janine Haller, coowner of the women’s fashion retail-
“I end up getting breakfast in bed because it’s fun for the kids. . . . I always secretly hope there’s something extra there.” ALEX LEECH MOTHER OF TWO
er Coal Miner’s Daughter and mom to a 6-year-old.
“The whole family will come in and the mom will drop serious hints, and everyone knows what is happening,” said Haller.
At Made You Look on Queen St. W., has made it easy for moms to pick out their own gifts.
Owner Sarah Dougall started a wish list — on a clipboard at first, now computerized — where shoppers can keep a short list of items they like in the store, allowing their partner to choose one from the few, providing a bit of a surprise.
There are those who don’t bother with the wish-list option.
“We definitely have people coming in say: ‘I’m going to choose my gift because I want to like it and I deserve it, so if we’re going to get this done right, I better choose it for myself,’ ” said Dougall.
“I don’t know that these women are feeling amazing about that, but at the end of the day, they are ending up with something that they love.”
Time together may not be all it’s cracked up to be either.
According to the RetailMeNot survey, moms lead such busy lives, 77 per cent agree their ideal of the perfect day is to be given a break from mummy duties.
Breakfast in bed is great, but if mom ends up back on duty after breakfast, tasked with getting everyone in the house ready to do whatever the household has decided to do on Mother’s Day, she’s still working.
Last year on Mother’s Day, Ottawa writer and mom of three Chloe Girvan decided to invite a few of her mom friends over during the “witching hours” before supper, until 8 p.m., to give them a break from their Sunday-night routine.
She wrote about it for yummymummyclub.ca.
It was such a success, she’s having another party this year. She’ll be picking out her own Mother’s Day gift, after choosing her own Valentine’s Day gift at her husband’s urging — a fun, sparkly bracelet — a whimsical acquisition she wouldn’t otherwise have made.
“My Valentine’s Day gift that I bought for myself delights me. I never would have just bought it myself, but it’s so fun to have it,” Girvan said. “I love it and care for it as much as if it had been chosen for me.
“So much of it is not being OK with asking for what we want, which extends everywhere for women, and then we feel bad and not heard or seen. Where do we get this expectation where if a partner can’t read our minds he or she has failed?”