Man apologizes for elementary-school punch
Order of Canada member punched a classmate in the 1950s and has never gotten over the guilt
Thomas Caldwell has a lot to be proud of: chairman of his own wealth management firm, chairman of the Canadian Securities Exchange and member of the Order of Canada.
But Caldwell, 72, has a few regrets, too, like anyone who’s lived a full life. It’s one of those regrets, which has plagued him for most of his life, that drove him to make amends — 65 years later.
It was a small apology, 17 words tucked away in the classified section of the Canadian Jewish News (and spotted by Toronto online newsletter Twelve Thirty Six).
“To Howard Rosen, sorry I punched you at Runnymede Public School in the early 1950s. Tom Caldwell.”
Caldwell said he isn’t sure exactly when the punch happened, or if the boy’s name was Howard Rosen, though he suspects the name is fairly accurate and that the incident happened when both boys were between 7 and10. As he remembers it, it was a random incident.
“I just walked by him and punched him. . . . He was just sitting,” Caldwell said. The principal called him in after, but Caldwell told him his hand had slipped. “I still remember that inane excuse,” he said. There was no reason for the punch, Caldwell admitted, though Rosen being a Jewish kid probably had something to do with it, which Caldwell said adds to his guilt now.
“It wasn’t that I had any religious bias. I don’t remember anything specific, so maybe it was part of what a kid had picked up,” he said.
Years later, Caldwell said the event has stuck with him.
“A friend of mine once said to me ‘Do you ever get the cringes,’ and I knew exactly what he meant. It’s one of those ‘Oh my God, I didn’t do that, did I?’ ” he said.
He’s also had a few near-death experiences, and during those, he always regretted moments like that one the most.
“I have some regrets in my life, but my primary regret as I look back in my life is when I hurt people, either verbally — I don’t go around punching people (anymore), my arthritis is too bad,” he said.
Eventually, he decided to try to make amends.
He doesn’t know where his victim is now, or if Rosen is even alive, or if he even remembers the event, but Caldwell said it was important for him to express his regret in a way that might reach Rosen.
“I’m doing it for me. And also for Howard Rosen, and also for folks who have experienced that type of hurt, even though it might be a 7-year-old, or a 10-year-old,” he said.
If Rosen is alive, and sees the ad, Caldwell said he hopes to ask him out for lunch.
“I’ll buy. I feel that guilty,” he said.