Disappointed friend doesn’t deserve to be dragged down publicly

I declined the evite to my friend’s birthday party just now. Five minutes later she posted on Facebook bemoaning the fact that everyone’s too busy to celebrate her. I’m hurt. Should I post and tell her that? Oh man. Maybe you were the 20th person that hour to bail on her birthday, so careful not to jump ahead with the “I’m more hurt than you are” line. Regardless of how hurt you are, don’t post it publicly. Poor form. In fact, don’t share it at all. It’s her birthday, not yours, so suck it up. Can you rejig your plans to make her birthday? If not, can you take her for coffee/cake/ brunch/lunch/dinner/a drink? Try to do something nice for your friend and spend some time with her. Not because it is her birthday, because she’s your friend and she’s feeling down. When should you use the .@ function on Twitter? I want everyone to see the conversations I’m having all the time. That’s the fun of Twitter, right?

If you start a tweet with the @ symbol, it’s basically like a reply. The only people who will see it in their feeds are the person whose handle you’ve started the tweet with and people who happen to follow both of you. No one else will see it. That’s why you’ll sometimes see tweets that start with a space, or a period.

There is another stealth option to help absolve your vacation envy: You have the option to click on the top-right corner of any of her vacation photos

My friend starting posting vacation pictures every five minutes on Facebook, so I unfollowed her. How do I add her back once her stupid vacation is over? Will she ever know I put her on mute?

Sounds like it is time for you to book a vacation! If you properly unfollowed her, then yes, she’ll see the “friend request” when you add her back as a friend. If you merely muted her status updates but stayed friends, you’ll be able to turn that function on and off depending on her travel plans, without her ever knowing.

There is another stealth option to help absolve your vacation envy: You have the option to click on the top-right corner of any of her vacation photos. Once you click this, you’ll see the option to “Hide Post,” with tiny type below it that reads, “See fewer posts like this.” It’ll limit similar photos in your news feed, though a few still might sneak in there. Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online. Send her your questions: karen@mannersaresexy.com