STATUS UPDATES
A week in which The Simpsons took on Trump and a well-meaning kid defaced a national treasure
POLITICIZED The Simpsons, which primed the pump for its return next month with a send-up of Hillary Clinton’s alarmist “It’s 3 a.m. and the phone’s ringing in the White House” ad from 2008. No spoilers here, but rest assured that the ending does resolve the dilemma troubling Marge at the beginning: “I can’t make love until I’ve decided who to vote for.”
PARCHED The world’s last woolly mammoths, which probably died of thirst. The ice age creatures became extinct 5,650 years ago on St. Paul Island, Alaska, after climate change shrank the land area, lowered lake levels and created a shortage of fresh water, the New York Times reported. It’s also possible the water that was available was contaminated.
DEFACED A Stone Age wall carving in Norway, by a youth who used a sharp object to deepen the work’s lines — to make it easier for visitors to see. The carving depicts some of the earliest evidence of skiing. It even “inspired the symbol used for the Winter Olympics in Lillehammer,” the Local reported. One politician deemed the well-intentioned vandalism “a national tragedy.”
ARMED Hundreds of London police officers, who’ve been deployed at “visible locations” to deter terrorists. The 600 officers are Scotland Yard’s response to the city’s current “severe” threat level. Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe said, “Despite the fact they are carrying guns, they are still police officers and I want the public to approach and talk to them.” About 2,800 of the 31,000member force will now carry guns.
OSTRACIZED U.S. soccer star Hope Solo, who was booed every time she touched the ball during the first day of competitive events at the Rio Olympics. Along with indicating she would play only “begrudgingly,” she didn’t endear herself to Brazilians with a tweet (left) about the Zika crisis. Solo told The Associated Press she consulted three infectious disease specialists before making the trip.
SCORCHED Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon, who’s been cornered by the fed-up director of public defenders into representing a poor person in court. Michael Barrett used a state provision that allows him, under extraordinary circumstances, to delegate the duty “to any member of the state bar of Missouri.” Frustrated over budget cutbacks, Barrett chose Missouri’s most famous lawyer: the governor.
DENOUNCED Daniel Ortega, who has chosen his wife as his VP candidate in Nicaragua’s upcoming elections. President Ortega framed his choice of Rosario Murillo as proof of his country’s embrace of gender equality. Rubbish, said former opposition congressman Eliseo Nunez. He accused Ortega of trying to “guarantee his family’s succession in case he can’t go on or isn’t around . . .”
DISARMED High-profile ad executive Kevin Roberts, who was put on leave by Publicis Groupe before resigning in the wake of his comments about discrimination against women. In an ill-advised response to consultant Cindy Gallop, who tweeted “sexual harassment is endemic in the media, advertising and every industry,” Roberts said: “I think she’s making up a lot of stuff to create a profile, and to take applause . . .”