Liza and Jared
Liza is a 38-year-old entrepreneur who lives in the Upper Beaches. She says “My style is trendy. I like adventurous shoes and outrageous jewelry and handbags.” Liza says she is “outgoing and friendly, and a bit of a nerd.” She adds “I think I talk too much. I’m very friendly.” Liza likes to “run, practice yoga, climb mountains, eat amazing food and dance when the mood strikes me.” She says, “I get bored of the process of dating and mostly focus on my work. I like guys who are interesting and know about things I don’t understand. I find it sexy to learn.” One night when I was going out with my friends, we got our wires crossed about plans. I stopped in at a restaurant after dinner service to have a quick drink while they made their way to where I was. I sat down at the bar, ordered and looked to my left. There was a very handsome man drinking a beer and looking right at me.
Jared introduced himself and asked what I was doing all alone. It turned out that he was the chef. We talked about our work lives, which happened to intersect. We had instant chemistry. I knew just from talking with him that the two of us would be a powerful combination.
My friends arrived and as I was leaving Jared asked me for my number. I gave him my email address instead and said goodnight. Twenty minutes later, he had emailed me a line, something really cheese ball. But honestly, even though I wasn’t into it, I thought to myself, “You know, maybe you just need to try dating a different type of guy” and “Let it go, he was trying to be sweet” and even “Lots of girls like that kind of thing.”
I replied the following afternoon. Not knowing how to flirt with me didn’t have to be the end of something promising. We emailed back and forth for a few days and eventually Jared wrote that he had to see me again. In a highly unusual move, I invited him to my place and asked him to cook for me. I felt safe because it had turned out that we had a lot of mutual friends and travelled in similar circles.
Jared came over after work a few days later. He brought gorgeous food and a bottle of wine. Since it was so late, I only wanted the wine and his company. We drank and talked about life for a few hours. It was really quite something. A genuine connection. And he seemed like such a nice guy. Then, suddenly, I blurted out that I wasn’t looking for anything serious and I didn’t want to lead him on. I don’t know what inspired me to say that; I wanted to be honest, and it just came out. Things got really awkward. Soon after that he decided to go home. Well done, me.
I didn’t hear from him for about a week. Then, out of nowhere, he started to send me “sexy” emails, which I didn’t respond to. Clearly, he hadn’t figured out the sweet spot in getting my attention. A few weeks later, he randomly texted me in the middle of the night. When I saw the text the next morning, I opted not to reply. He didn’t text me again.
I found it so funny that the world of dating had come to this: Jared had flip-flopped from the romantic-lover type to the dirty, meet-me-behind-the-garbage-bins type and then disappeared.
Fast-forward six months. I was working on a project that Jared was a perfect contact for. I figured it would at least be fun to see him, and also that he would probably be eager to get involved with the project. I called him.
He did want to do it, very much. I had explained what I was looking for, and I was legitimately working on something that could use his help, but in hindsight, I realize he probably thought it was just a ruse to get in touch. Within a few minutes of ending the call, he sent me a selfie and an eggplant emoji. If you don’t know what the emoji symbolizes, please ask Google.
A minute after that he called me, to check and see that I got it and to ask me to send him some pictures of myself.
Too much! I wasn’t even trying to date him and look where it landed me. I never replied and didn’t follow up with him about the project. I had to laugh. You really have to laugh about stuff like that or you’d never stop crying.
Liza rates her date (out of 10): 7 Want to be a dating diarist? Email datingdiariescontact@gmail.com